Every Time We See a Doctor, It Gets Worse


Roll With It
I am so thankful that my husband is stoned on pain medications most of the time. I don't think he realized all that the various doctors have said. Until we get the PET scan, we won't know the full story.

We had another trip to the ER on Monday night. He got really scared when it was time to go to sleep because he couldn't breathe. They did a CT scan and almost sent us to the city for inpatient treatment. They sent us home because we had an appointment with a radiologist in 6 hours to set up radiation.

The radiologist showed us all the scans done so far. There is the disc that is mostly tumor, the tumor in his neck, and at least 5 tumors in his lungs. It isn't lung cancer (already tested for that), but we still don't know what type of cancer it is. Hopefully the blood work they did will tell them that. Plus a small part of his lung has collapsed. Going in to try to fix it is not advised. It is likely to do more harm than good.

I had the info from the ER with me (ER doctor stressed this). His oncologist's nurse was able to use it to order oxygen. So we have that now. It is allowing him to sleep better. He also feels a lot better. We have had to insist that he not start walking without the walker. He just barely has gotten to the point where he can put both feet flat on the floor when he walks.

We have to have someone with him at all times, esp at night. He hallucinates things. We are pretty sure that it is the pain medications. As long as one of us can tell him that what he is seeing isn't real, he is fine. If he cannot see one of us, then he gets really scared.

I don't know if I can take one more thing. Every time we see a doctor, there is something else that is major. We thought that one of the 2 sites (neck and spine) would be the first one. Now there are 5 more that are not the original site. I can't even think about how much worse this is going to get. At least we don't have to move for another month. Management didn't want to let us stay (we want to move and our lease is up), but the doctor said it would be a really bad thing right now. Too much stress.

Thanks for being here. It means so much. I can't always get away to go talk this out without the kids around. If I fall apart, the kids will have a much harder time coping. This is hard enough for them.


Well-Known Member
Dear Susie

I am so glad you checked in. I'm glad your husband is getting what he needs to be comfortable and that his treatment is progressing and clarifying what is going on. And that there is a bit of a respite from the move. And I am sorry that you and he and your family are going through this.

Many prayers for you and your family.
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Tanya M

Living with an attitude of gratitude
Staff member
Oh Susie, I can only imagine how scared you must be with all this going on. I'm so very sorry.
Sending prayers for you both!!
Please try and remember that in the midst of all this, you need to take care of yourself too. It can be so overwhelming when you are the caregiver and so easy to neglect yourself. Even if you can take just 15 minutes a day to be by yourself, practice some deep breathing, take a walk around the block, go for an ice cream or coffee, something just for you.


Roll With It
The last couple of days have been difficult. No more medical news, just emotionally. Hubby is realizing that this isn't going to be a short term thing. He is realizing that he may never be able to do things he wants to do. At least he won't be doing them for the foreseeable future. It has been very hard.


Well-Known Member
Susie. The loss and fear must be so difficult for him and you to bear. Prayers for the family, you and your husband, most of all.