hi to all,
so here's my big huge issue for the day......lol
every saturday in my house it is torture with both kids home. the weekends little difficult child is with her dad and older one stays home it is beautiful calm serene a place you wanna be.
the weekends tehir both here it just doens't work at all. they yell at eachother call eachother names, put eachother down i go in help them resolve it when it gets out of hand like either physical or truly hurting one another verbally especially now knowing that little difficult child is severely depressed and then i walk away with a migraine and it happens again in another ten minutes.
so it's now 3 here and nothing is done their room isn't clean we've had older difficult child blow up with crying and screaming at me already i spent an hour with her alone in my room trying to resolve her issue which is she feels that we all treat little difficult child like a baby etc. she has no chores so i said ok let's solve it and stop the drama if you have a problem come Occupational Therapist (OT) me and say hey ma i need ten minutes something is really bothering me and i will always listen and assist you in finding a solution yet this is not the way to go adn i will no longer after today except this form of resolving it by being *****y to me causing drama ruining all of our days etc. then i walk out of room feeling exhausted and stressed but feeling like ok we fixed her issue good.
then it happens again.
same thing occurs every other saturday when their both here it's ridiculous. unless i geton eo fthem littel difficult child out of house and make plans it just doens't work on any level at all. i wind up feeling very emotionally drained tired aggrivated upset that my saturday with them is ruined yet again etc.
i've tried various approaches set a routine in place let's get chores done then everyone gets to go out me taking little difficult child to park older one with her outting. problem is older one is not allowed out unless she turns in her friday sheet on friday night with me stating she went to all classes and an update form teh week from each teacher stating that she's done homework, participated passed tests taht sort of thing.
so this weekend she forgot it again. i said oh well you cannot go out and so she flips out on me.
she is also *****y all of the time. boyfriend and i were talking about it last night how she is that way everyday all the time with not only me but everyone else. it's all about her as if the world revolves around only her with no regard for anyone else at all. her homework and schoolwork's been improving because i implemented the tough love approach to some extent and washed my hands of constantly pushing her so she's taken initiative and pushed herself now.
yet weekends are torture i hate them do not look forward to them are afraid of them and what these two will do. and it is not until i get pressurized enough and flip myself by really yelling and actually scaring them into behaving that it goes calmly. shouldnt' have to be that way at all.
so i'm thinking that maybe therapy for the 3 of us is key as well. not sure how i'm going to pay for that next. sometimes i just have to say why cant just one thing in my life be easy right now why must everything require so much work and effort and be this draining???
jen
so here's my big huge issue for the day......lol
every saturday in my house it is torture with both kids home. the weekends little difficult child is with her dad and older one stays home it is beautiful calm serene a place you wanna be.
the weekends tehir both here it just doens't work at all. they yell at eachother call eachother names, put eachother down i go in help them resolve it when it gets out of hand like either physical or truly hurting one another verbally especially now knowing that little difficult child is severely depressed and then i walk away with a migraine and it happens again in another ten minutes.
so it's now 3 here and nothing is done their room isn't clean we've had older difficult child blow up with crying and screaming at me already i spent an hour with her alone in my room trying to resolve her issue which is she feels that we all treat little difficult child like a baby etc. she has no chores so i said ok let's solve it and stop the drama if you have a problem come Occupational Therapist (OT) me and say hey ma i need ten minutes something is really bothering me and i will always listen and assist you in finding a solution yet this is not the way to go adn i will no longer after today except this form of resolving it by being *****y to me causing drama ruining all of our days etc. then i walk out of room feeling exhausted and stressed but feeling like ok we fixed her issue good.
then it happens again.
same thing occurs every other saturday when their both here it's ridiculous. unless i geton eo fthem littel difficult child out of house and make plans it just doens't work on any level at all. i wind up feeling very emotionally drained tired aggrivated upset that my saturday with them is ruined yet again etc.
i've tried various approaches set a routine in place let's get chores done then everyone gets to go out me taking little difficult child to park older one with her outting. problem is older one is not allowed out unless she turns in her friday sheet on friday night with me stating she went to all classes and an update form teh week from each teacher stating that she's done homework, participated passed tests taht sort of thing.
so this weekend she forgot it again. i said oh well you cannot go out and so she flips out on me.
she is also *****y all of the time. boyfriend and i were talking about it last night how she is that way everyday all the time with not only me but everyone else. it's all about her as if the world revolves around only her with no regard for anyone else at all. her homework and schoolwork's been improving because i implemented the tough love approach to some extent and washed my hands of constantly pushing her so she's taken initiative and pushed herself now.
yet weekends are torture i hate them do not look forward to them are afraid of them and what these two will do. and it is not until i get pressurized enough and flip myself by really yelling and actually scaring them into behaving that it goes calmly. shouldnt' have to be that way at all.
so i'm thinking that maybe therapy for the 3 of us is key as well. not sure how i'm going to pay for that next. sometimes i just have to say why cant just one thing in my life be easy right now why must everything require so much work and effort and be this draining???
jen