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***Everybody seems so down these days...***
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 37177" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>also (posted in watercooler} LOL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Excerpts from a Dog's Diary</p><p> 6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!</p><p> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!</p><p> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!</p><p> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!</p><p> 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!</p><p> 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!</p><p> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!</p><p> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!</p><p> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!</p><p> 6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!</p><p> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!</p><p> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!</p><p> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!</p><p></p><p> Excerpts from a Cat's Diary</p><p></p><p> Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre</p><p>little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other</p><p>inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I ! make my</p><p>contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something</p><p>i n order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my</p><p>dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the</p><p>carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their</p><p>feet.</p><p> I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly</p><p>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending</p><p>comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!</p><p> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was</p><p>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I</p><p>could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement</p><p>was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how</p><p>to use it to my advantage.</p><p> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my</p><p>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this</p><p>again ! tomorro w -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the</p><p>other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special</p><p>privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to</p><p>return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I</p><p>observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he</p><p>reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him</p><p>in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 37177, member: 97"] also (posted in watercooler} LOL Excerpts from a Dog's Diary 6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing! 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I ! make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something i n order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again ! tomorro w -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... [/QUOTE]
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