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Ex trying to force He-Who-Left-Family and Daughter to have Christmas together
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 641573" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>GM, it's ok to vent. As I write this I learn things myself too, such as that 37 isn't really all that terrible as difficult children go. He actually has a forgiving heart and tells me that his upbringing was good, in spite of Scott. He says Scott was the only mistake I made and does not say "and it's a big one." He was troubled before we got Scott, but afterward he had to deal with this sudden brother who was handsome, brilliant, and charismatic and started taking all of his friends away to the point where we decided, with the school, to put them in two different schools. I am grateful to 37 for not holding this against me. He actually loves me very, very much and thinks I was a good mother most of the time. His problems are strictly when he is under stress. Then he can not control himself from saying horrible things and losing his temper.That's when the abuse starts rolling out in spades. When he is not under pressure, we actually get along really well.</p><p></p><p>I'm beginning to think that maybe I was too hard on him. Yes, he has problems, but not as badly as some difficult children. He proved he's not a drug addict, even to Xanax, but quitting his benzos with a doctor's help and he has cut down drinking to very little, so he says. He could be lying, but I don't think he is. When he drinks too much, I can tell on the phone. As for recreational drugs, my son won't even date a girl who smokes pot. This happened recently. He met a girl who he really liked until she told him she smoked weed. He told her that's a dealbreaker...he was not going to risk losing his son by having him around weed...and that was that. He can be very selfish...but his son comes first and nobody is allowed to do anything that he feels may not be good for his child.</p><p></p><p>His worst behaviors, such as stealing and conning people, were a long time ago.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes just writing, like you and I are doing now, gives us a good perspective on things. And exchanging ideas can also open our eyes to other possibilities of how we can look at certain situations. So thanks for letting me vent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 641573, member: 1550"] GM, it's ok to vent. As I write this I learn things myself too, such as that 37 isn't really all that terrible as difficult children go. He actually has a forgiving heart and tells me that his upbringing was good, in spite of Scott. He says Scott was the only mistake I made and does not say "and it's a big one." He was troubled before we got Scott, but afterward he had to deal with this sudden brother who was handsome, brilliant, and charismatic and started taking all of his friends away to the point where we decided, with the school, to put them in two different schools. I am grateful to 37 for not holding this against me. He actually loves me very, very much and thinks I was a good mother most of the time. His problems are strictly when he is under stress. Then he can not control himself from saying horrible things and losing his temper.That's when the abuse starts rolling out in spades. When he is not under pressure, we actually get along really well. I'm beginning to think that maybe I was too hard on him. Yes, he has problems, but not as badly as some difficult children. He proved he's not a drug addict, even to Xanax, but quitting his benzos with a doctor's help and he has cut down drinking to very little, so he says. He could be lying, but I don't think he is. When he drinks too much, I can tell on the phone. As for recreational drugs, my son won't even date a girl who smokes pot. This happened recently. He met a girl who he really liked until she told him she smoked weed. He told her that's a dealbreaker...he was not going to risk losing his son by having him around weed...and that was that. He can be very selfish...but his son comes first and nobody is allowed to do anything that he feels may not be good for his child. His worst behaviors, such as stealing and conning people, were a long time ago. Sometimes just writing, like you and I are doing now, gives us a good perspective on things. And exchanging ideas can also open our eyes to other possibilities of how we can look at certain situations. So thanks for letting me vent. [/QUOTE]
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Ex trying to force He-Who-Left-Family and Daughter to have Christmas together
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