Hey 'stang, hugs.
What struck me in your post the most was the part about the rope being gone...as in not being at the end of your rope but that there is no rope left.
Almost 2 years ago I felt that way - the desolate, apathetic feel of not caring one way or the other, crying for any defineable reason, feeling clingy but wanting to be left alone, screaming on the outside and then hating myself for hating everyone and being mean and angry...oh the ball of anger inside suffocated me. I went for my annual and of course by then I felt a bit better. But when I described my feelings, she suggested some progesterone and some anti-depressants. Since I felt so afraid those feelings were going to return, I gave it a try and was pleasantly surprised when it helped.
When you go for your annual, strongly urge your Dr to check all your hormone levels, inluding the thyroids and then have them done again in two weeks to show any and all fluctuations in your hormonal cycle. My Dr made me go back for more blood on the first day of my periods for 2 months in a row with another one mid cycle to be sure. The AD's helped until she was able to figure out when I needed the progesterone. And I no longer need that at all as my peri-meno is further along and I can deal with the hot flashes and night sweats.
Anyway, not sure what your relationship is with your Dr, but it's up to you to demand the attention you need right now.
In the meantime, hugs.
