Exhausted - Vent - Long...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by witzend, Apr 21, 2010.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    husband has been snoring like crazy again. I'm sleeping sporadically. If I can get to sleep before he does, it's better, but there is no way I can get to sleep with him sawing logs. He's had his deviated septum corrected twice, his soft palate removed, and still he snores. He's had three sleep studies and he does not have sleep apnea. When I do get to sleep, between him snoring and my sweating I sleep about 30 - 45 minutes then I am up. Once I wake up I start to sweat and it's the blanket battle. Throw off the blankets and let the sweat cool off, move to a dry cool spot on the bed if I can find one, the pull the blankets back on because I'm wet and cold. Because of my clotting disorder I can't take hormones.

    I have been telling him multiple times a week for over a month to make an appointment with a doctor about the snoring. Mind you, he's still 30 pounds overweight. I've lost another 10 pounds on his diet, but somehow he can't seem to lose the weight. Could it be to do with his never being able to make a healthy lunch for himself and having to eat out? (No I absolutely will not make him lunch, too!) No appointment yet.

    He was supposed to start riding his bike 2 miles to the light rail in December. I was totally cool with him working up to doing it both ways and to most days of the week. I was willing to overlook the poor diet choices if he would get some exercise. But if he does go to the doctor about the snoring, we all know that he will be told to get some exercise and lose some weight. Meanwhile, I have to go pick him up at the train because he can't make it back up the hill. Because he has only actually done it 8 times. In February he announced that his seat was tilted to the front and his fenders were hitting the sides of the wheels. Adjust it, right? That got done two weeks ago and he rode to work once. I finally told him that he could have sex as often as he rides his bike to the train. Guess I'm actually going to have to hold him to that. Great. We both get to lose out because of his stubbornness.

    He has decided to open up credit card account and buy more stuff for World of Warcraft. We have 5 WoW keyboards, and 3 WoW mouses. I have no clue what they are for. But the one that takes the cake is the 24" lcd screen he bought for his home desk that he has added to his 17" screen in a way that whatever is on the screen is split between the two screens. IOW, it's three feet wide. Supposedly it's for working at home. Do I really seem that stupid? by the way, he's got a tell when he's lying. Just sayin'.

    Anyhoo, he opens up these credit card accounts and says that he is going to take less of an allowance. No he's not! He has a checking account of his own, he can put his allowance in it and make payments from it! Of course, this means that he has to take extra money out of our checking account because he doesn't have money for lunch. Or he just buys lunch on the debit card.

    So, since he has this new stuff, he comes into the house after work and sits at his computer. He feeds the dogs. If I cook which is most every night, he does the dishes but won't put anything on the counters away, and won't wipe off the counters. This is a man who opens the sliding glass door with his foot because of the possibility of germs. I have gone so far as to wipe off the counter with paper towels and windex and leave them on top of the counter and left the filthy paper towels spread out dirt side up on the counter to show him the dirt he is leaving. Nope. Doesn't matter. After dinner he is at the computer until 11:00 or so until I tell him it is time to go to bed.

    Meanwhile I do the bills, the laundry, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the general upkeep around the house. And there is never any water in the dog bowls. Don't even get me started on the filth in and around the dog bowls. Yes, I
    do ask him to do things, but all that does is create a list of things I have asked him to do that he hasn't done. And I work. We pay a neighbor kid to walk the dogs because he won't anymore. We pay a neighbor kid to mow the lawn because he won't anymore. We pay a lady to clean the house twice a month because he won't sweep or mop or do the bathrooms. I do all of the tidying & dusting myself before she comes so that things will get put away and she doesn't just clean around it.

    The dogs all sleep in our room on their own beds. Bubba is 13 years old and really on his last legs. His arthritis is bad, and the medications the doctor gave to him for it makes him vomit if he takes it for any length of time. He likes to eat and sleep, and occasionally to get loves. But he has a hard time getting down the 6" step off of the deck to the back yard, so he doesn't really like to go potty anymore. In the afternoon, or when I come home from work, I let the dogs out and have to walk Bubba out to the yard and make him go potty. Sometimes I have to do it twice because he thinks he should get a treat then he goes pooh on the deck (if you're not watching) or in the house.

    There are french doors in our bedroom out to the back yard. husband is supposed to be at work at 8 AM. He won't set an alarm because the dogs wake him up around 6 AM. Handy, right? So, the dogs wake up, get him up, he goes all the way into the living room to let them out, then feeds them, then goes potty. For a week or so, sometimes while he is going potty, sometimes while he is eating his cereal, Bubba has pooped in the house. OK - why can't husband let the dogs out the french doors, go to the bathroom, then let them in the living room doors to eat? Then he can take Bubba back out to pooh. I mean, when I come home from work where the bathroom is absolutely disgusting, I often have not gone pee for 7 hours. I go outside and make the dogs go potty first so that there will be no accidents.
    I know that I can hold it.

    More often than not, while Bubba is pooping around the house, and husband isn't always finding all of it even though it's right in the middle of the floor and the first thing you see when you walk into the room, husband is sitting in front of his computer "reading his web pages and news". He can't get out of the house until 8 or 8:30 or even later. If he works late, he goes in so late the next day that instead of coming home early and helping out he has to stay late to make up the 8 hour day. This morning everyone is up at 6, and I lay awake in bed even though I was up until 3 with his snoring. At 6:40 I come out and husband is in front of his computer with his empty cereal bowl. I ask him if Bubba pooped. Yes. In the house after he ate while husband was going pee.

    I told him this morning that he
    has to start going out on the deck after Bubba eats with Bubba and making sure that Bubba goes poop in the yard. He'll do it if you are out there with him and he's already eaten but it is up to US to make the effort. It's been weeks now that Bubba either poops on the deck or in the house in the morning, and it's what he thinks is ok now. I told husband that if it keeps happening I'm going to put Bubba down and it will be his fault for not taking the extra two minutes in the morning to make sure Bubba goes in the yard. How hard can it be to let the dogs out the bedroom door, go pee, let them in the living room door, feed them, and take Bubba to pooh - rather than let the dogs out the living room door, feed them, go pee, then pick up Bubba's pooh off of the floor and clean it up?

    So, it's 9:15, and in 2 and a half hours I have done 4 loads of laundry and folded and put them away, cleaned up the dog bowls, run a load of dishes and put them away, and balanced the checkbook. I also emptied all of husband's tools out of various drawers in the kitchen, living room, and bathroom plus the closets which were put there because he "might need them later" and filled a banker's box with them. I'd put them away where they belong but I can't get at the work bench for all the crud that's all over it and the floor around it. Not to mention that there's two empty toolboxes and I can't get the workbench drawers open because he just shoves crud in there.
    And would it really kill him to flush the toilet?

    I've been trying to get to the store for 3 days now, but my boss is helpless. He needs me to come in and work on proposals and invoices for industrial fan repair (WT H do I know about industrial fan repair?) while he spends hours having difficulty and needing my help to download MP3's for his church band and somehow can't manage to earn enough money to make payroll without taking out a loan.

  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Witz... I'm there with ya. Yeah, husband is doing better, but... been there done that did NOT enjoy it.

    I am sending you LOTS of hugs, 'cause that's about all that I can do... But feel free to vent to me any time you like.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I typed up a similar rant Monday. My computer ate it, and I figured it was just as well.

    You have my sympathies.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Vent away. Sounds like you really need it. I agree MEN!
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    TOTALLY AGREE!!!! :mad:

    I'm supposed to get all excited if mine scoots stuff around, not even talking cleaning here, but just scooting the stuff from one spot to the next. Oh, and he bragged 1 day that it took him 2 hrs to clean the stove. (yes, it was disgusting because he never washes the stove/counters if he gets around to the dishes) Then got furious with me when I asked him why it took him 2 hrs to do a 10 min job. (my stove is uber easy to clean)

    I spent my spring break cleaning my fanny off. 4 wks into the quarter it no longer looks like I even touched it. I won't be spending my 2 wks of my next break cleaning, that's for sure.:mad:
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I'll take Bubba.....:( poor baby. As far as snoring man? I think I'd set up my own room.
  7. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Sorry about husband being a pain...vent away. Mine has been home less than a week and I'm starting to get tired of him already....

    Must be something about 13 year-old dogs. My husky, Mason, has decided he doesn't like cold or rain. We put in a nice doggie door so that the dogs didn't have to depend on us since they are getting older. Well, for a while now, Mason just goes out the doggie door and does his business on the deck. ....This winter, he really proved that he doesn't like the cold or rain. He would stick his nose out the doggie door and if he didn't like the weather, he'd turn around and just back his tush through the door and do his business. Made it hard for the other dogs to get out the door without stepping in stuff.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I can SO relate, Witz...sending hugs. I'd send patience, but I seem to be running low on that little item.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :rofl: :rofl:

    Sorry, I know it had to be gross to clean up, but the visual of that is priceless. If you could catch it on film you'd make a fortune. :tongue:
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. My husband is unemployed and if he does TEN minutes of anything around the house all day i am supposed to be thrilled. I am NOT. For a while I got pretty good results with messages on facebook by then my family got involved and I got tired of all of the calls telling me "not to run him off by being mean". WTH were they talking about?? I wasn't mean, just pointing out that the dishes he bragged about actually meant spending 8 minutes to half fill the dishwasher. Period. NOTHING else.

    But I left fb alone cause it is not worth it. Lately he started stomping if I say anything. It gets to me and I end up in tears. THEN he gets off his tush. But I don't cry on purpose and rarely when he can see it. I hate crying.

    Anyway, you have my sympathies. I am sorry about your doggie getting old. Can you give him some tums or mylanta before the other medication? Ask the vet, but I have a friend who had to do that. The medication made a big difference until it made the dog vomit. The tums type medication kept the dog from upchucking.
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Put him on the Doggy Bed and poor old Bubba in bed with you (on husband's Side)... I have to fall asleep before husband also! But luckily he doesn't snore every night.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    It's a "late work night" from home tonight for husband. He won't be done until after 11, so I should probably be in bed. It's going to be beautiful tomorrow, so I am hoping that between his early morning Rotary meeting (which he has missed the past 3 weeks) and working late tonight he will be home at at decent hour. Maybe he could pick up dog pooh! There's plenty in the yard, needless to say.
  13. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    My husband snores terribly, too. It's worse when he eats something too close to bed time. Even a small snack seems to equal very loud snoring...

    Whereas if he eats dinner around six--six-thirty and then moves around a bit for settling for bed...the snoring, if any, is much milder.

    Even if he is not really motivated to exercise and lose weight--he should be able to do at least a little walking around after dinner...you know--maybe as he is picking up the yard...
  14. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O I agree! That is hilarious!!
  15. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I guess I can save some money on not getting a doggie door, at least until Bubba is gone...