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Expectations bleh
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 754188" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Okay. Do not one thing he demands. Are you his slave? Do nothing he demanded. Nothing. Jmo.</p><p></p><p>I am flabbergasted.</p><p></p><p>I didn't think I could be surprised by anything these selfish kids demand but I guess I am wrong.</p><p></p><p>I can only tell you what I would do now that I have not seen Kay for a while so that I am not under her magic spell of blame, entitlement and, yes, nuttiness. Oh and guilt!</p><p></p><p>I would not even consider a discussion about any of it. Does he expect a gold star for going to counseling for HIM? Meanwhile he sits in JAIL? It's too insane You must REWARD him for going to counseling? Really???!!</p><p></p><p>If you must answer I would send a letter with one word on it. The word is NO.</p><p></p><p>There is no need to dissect your son's mad demands. He is just trying to make YOU pay for his being in jail. I would not discuss it nor would I consider doing any of his childish demands. You don't owe him anything if he does one thing for his own good. He is a big boy, at least legally.</p><p></p><p>I would not answer his calls from jail because it will be about this. He is in a very bad place and not ready to heal if he is still acting like this and you don't need to go along for the downward ride.</p><p></p><p>I am really really really sorry that he is being so horrible but these issues are HIS issues. And in my opinion he has to know you aren't going to pay for him to have a life after he screws up. There are government services for that.</p><p></p><p>At this point in my life if Kay dared to send me a demand letter, I would toss it out. I am sure I'd be shaking in anger and have tears in my eyes but I would NOT answer it. I have had enough distance to tell when she is being insane and I want nothing to do with MY old ways of feeling so guilty that I used to actually do things that your son demanded.</p><p></p><p>If you pray, pray a lot. My only advice is to pray and step back for a few quiet days, don't talk to him and see if sanity returns to you and gives you some peace and guidance.</p><p></p><p>One thing that helped me was to ask myself what Kay had done for anyone in the past decade.</p><p></p><p>I believe in "give and you shall receive." It's time for our kids to learn to give. Jmo.</p><p></p><p>I send you blessings and hugs for your hurting heart and hope you can come to a resolution you can live with. Please try to be good to yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 754188, member: 23706"] Okay. Do not one thing he demands. Are you his slave? Do nothing he demanded. Nothing. Jmo. I am flabbergasted. I didn't think I could be surprised by anything these selfish kids demand but I guess I am wrong. I can only tell you what I would do now that I have not seen Kay for a while so that I am not under her magic spell of blame, entitlement and, yes, nuttiness. Oh and guilt! I would not even consider a discussion about any of it. Does he expect a gold star for going to counseling for HIM? Meanwhile he sits in JAIL? It's too insane You must REWARD him for going to counseling? Really???!! If you must answer I would send a letter with one word on it. The word is NO. There is no need to dissect your son's mad demands. He is just trying to make YOU pay for his being in jail. I would not discuss it nor would I consider doing any of his childish demands. You don't owe him anything if he does one thing for his own good. He is a big boy, at least legally. I would not answer his calls from jail because it will be about this. He is in a very bad place and not ready to heal if he is still acting like this and you don't need to go along for the downward ride. I am really really really sorry that he is being so horrible but these issues are HIS issues. And in my opinion he has to know you aren't going to pay for him to have a life after he screws up. There are government services for that. At this point in my life if Kay dared to send me a demand letter, I would toss it out. I am sure I'd be shaking in anger and have tears in my eyes but I would NOT answer it. I have had enough distance to tell when she is being insane and I want nothing to do with MY old ways of feeling so guilty that I used to actually do things that your son demanded. If you pray, pray a lot. My only advice is to pray and step back for a few quiet days, don't talk to him and see if sanity returns to you and gives you some peace and guidance. One thing that helped me was to ask myself what Kay had done for anyone in the past decade. I believe in "give and you shall receive." It's time for our kids to learn to give. Jmo. I send you blessings and hugs for your hurting heart and hope you can come to a resolution you can live with. Please try to be good to yourself. [/QUOTE]
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