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Experiences of mediation?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 623449" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>As needed. They have booked a possibility to several sessions, and apparently that is what the guy they want to use as a mediator would suggest. With difficult child's representative situation it would be preferred if they could get it done in the day. And timetable is challenging, they are rushed to do it between certain dates. Starting date is non-negotiable, and they really want to have an answer if difficult child is hireable to the last date of that window. That date though has a some chance to be pushed back depending how much they want difficult child.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>In here it is assumed they will be facing each other and made to talk also emotional content of this. The goal in this case is not avoiding going to court or some practical settlement, but team wants to be sure difficult child and this other boy can share the intimacy of being team mates and all that comes with that without these past actions causing rift and problems between them and for the team as a whole.</p><p></p><p>This boy is one of the very few who were involved in original incident that are active in the sport any level near where difficult child is, so just trying to avoid these few boys for rest of his career is a realistic option. However I can see some emotional benefits for difficult child to have to sit down with this other boy, talk about it and hopefully gain a real understanding. But I can also see the process backfiring in bad way, if difficult child doesn't feel he is heard and treated fairly. His basic assumption in things like this tends to be, that he is not listened, believed or his feelings are not cared for and things will always end in the favour of the other party. And he acts from that assumption in petulant and passive aggressive manner. Which is why I do think he absolutely needs a representative with him to whom he trusts and who is able to make sure difficult child is heard. His sport psychiatric would be ideal (really great guy who totally gets difficult child and is able to handle him), but he is simply not available. We are looking for a possibility for some kind of teleconference that would allow his involvement. But still difficult child also needs someone, who is actually there and is able to actually see difficult child whole time and knows how to read him (it is not like difficult child would put anything he actually needs to say into words on his own.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 623449, member: 14557"] As needed. They have booked a possibility to several sessions, and apparently that is what the guy they want to use as a mediator would suggest. With difficult child's representative situation it would be preferred if they could get it done in the day. And timetable is challenging, they are rushed to do it between certain dates. Starting date is non-negotiable, and they really want to have an answer if difficult child is hireable to the last date of that window. That date though has a some chance to be pushed back depending how much they want difficult child. In here it is assumed they will be facing each other and made to talk also emotional content of this. The goal in this case is not avoiding going to court or some practical settlement, but team wants to be sure difficult child and this other boy can share the intimacy of being team mates and all that comes with that without these past actions causing rift and problems between them and for the team as a whole. This boy is one of the very few who were involved in original incident that are active in the sport any level near where difficult child is, so just trying to avoid these few boys for rest of his career is a realistic option. However I can see some emotional benefits for difficult child to have to sit down with this other boy, talk about it and hopefully gain a real understanding. But I can also see the process backfiring in bad way, if difficult child doesn't feel he is heard and treated fairly. His basic assumption in things like this tends to be, that he is not listened, believed or his feelings are not cared for and things will always end in the favour of the other party. And he acts from that assumption in petulant and passive aggressive manner. Which is why I do think he absolutely needs a representative with him to whom he trusts and who is able to make sure difficult child is heard. His sport psychiatric would be ideal (really great guy who totally gets difficult child and is able to handle him), but he is simply not available. We are looking for a possibility for some kind of teleconference that would allow his involvement. But still difficult child also needs someone, who is actually there and is able to actually see difficult child whole time and knows how to read him (it is not like difficult child would put anything he actually needs to say into words on his own.) [/QUOTE]
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