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Explosive Child - any negative opinions?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 40875" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Okay, I'll bite. (Just don't bite back. :eek:)</p><p></p><p>You're supposed to re-do your thinking so you figure out solutions to problems with-your difficult child, rather than just commanding over and over. </p><p>The assumptions are that A) You're never in a rush, or have never gotten sick and still had to run a household, B) Your difficult child will tell you what is truly bothering him so you will actually have a handle on the whole thing (versus one who, even in the best of moods, refuses to participate or cannot even recall the incident!), C) a difficult child who never changes his mind and is always consistent (such as my difficult child, who hates to swallow pills and actually chews his Adderal (ew!) and makes a big deal out of it, so I make an appointment. with-the pediatrician to get a scrip for a skin patch for a similar medication, (remember difficult child told us he hates to chew/swallow his pill and we've come up with-a mutually agreed upon solution) and then has a hissy fit in the dr's ofc because even looking at the photo of the skin patch is awful, is sticky like a BandAid and will slow down his running during baseball), D) You have the time and patience to change your plan ea time it doesn't work, and go back to Square 1, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.</p><p></p><p>At it's worst, and on it's face, it can strike one as a hand-holding, coddling, "What-do-you-want-for-breakfast-Perfect-King-on-a-Throne-Your-Majesty-I'll-make-you-anything-you-want-incl-a-Martha-Stewart-souffle-at-5 a.m.-as-long-as-you-can-put-it-into-words" apologist tome. </p><p> :grin: :wink: (Wow, I should get a job as a poison pen writer!)</p><p></p><p>Despite all of that, the book is very helpful. (Oops, I'm not supposed to say that! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />) Mostly, I like the idea that some kids, my difficult child incl, have brains with-areas that haven't developed simultaneously nor developmentally. They are lagging behind emotionally, just as some kids lag behind in math. They have not developed coping skills and verbal skills to express fear, anger and frustration. They must be taught, step by step. That insight alone is worth the cover price.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, I tried to keep it all negative. I tried. I really did.</p><p></p><p> :rofl:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 40875, member: 3419"] Okay, I'll bite. (Just don't bite back. [img]:eek:[/img]) You're supposed to re-do your thinking so you figure out solutions to problems with-your difficult child, rather than just commanding over and over. The assumptions are that A) You're never in a rush, or have never gotten sick and still had to run a household, B) Your difficult child will tell you what is truly bothering him so you will actually have a handle on the whole thing (versus one who, even in the best of moods, refuses to participate or cannot even recall the incident!), C) a difficult child who never changes his mind and is always consistent (such as my difficult child, who hates to swallow pills and actually chews his Adderal (ew!) and makes a big deal out of it, so I make an appointment. with-the pediatrician to get a scrip for a skin patch for a similar medication, (remember difficult child told us he hates to chew/swallow his pill and we've come up with-a mutually agreed upon solution) and then has a hissy fit in the dr's ofc because even looking at the photo of the skin patch is awful, is sticky like a BandAid and will slow down his running during baseball), D) You have the time and patience to change your plan ea time it doesn't work, and go back to Square 1, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. At it's worst, and on it's face, it can strike one as a hand-holding, coddling, "What-do-you-want-for-breakfast-Perfect-King-on-a-Throne-Your-Majesty-I'll-make-you-anything-you-want-incl-a-Martha-Stewart-souffle-at-5 a.m.-as-long-as-you-can-put-it-into-words" apologist tome. [img]:grin:[/img] [img]:wink:[/img] (Wow, I should get a job as a poison pen writer!) Despite all of that, the book is very helpful. (Oops, I'm not supposed to say that! ;)) Mostly, I like the idea that some kids, my difficult child incl, have brains with-areas that haven't developed simultaneously nor developmentally. They are lagging behind emotionally, just as some kids lag behind in math. They have not developed coping skills and verbal skills to express fear, anger and frustration. They must be taught, step by step. That insight alone is worth the cover price. Sorry, I tried to keep it all negative. I tried. I really did. [img]:rofl:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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