Well I host xmas night, have for 10 years, husband's family (ALL normal responsible people) and mine (none have kids), difficult child's girlfriend and son and my granddaught where coming too. My family... mom- the enabler, bro 1 druggie living at home at 36, bro 2 not stable, new girlfriend-just moved from moms house to hers, filing backrupt and is 43, sis 1 recovered addict- lives with mom, helpful to mom, in college but has ADD and god knows what else-is 44, other 2 sis live away and do not come, 1 didnt call either. Ok so I tell my mom, tell sibs that come for xmas where difficult child is, but I didnt give her details on the arrest because poor mom is losing her memory and doesnt know who she tells what and I didnt want gossip in front of girlfriend and son (6 and thinks difficult child is visiting his aunt in another state). Ok so I am sitting with girlfriend... who just told me to make sure noone mentions difficult child being in jail becuz her son thinks he is at the aunts. I said everone was told not to mention him, no worry... bro 2 says "where's difficult child?" WHAT!! I give him daggers and he is like what? ARGG I will talk to you later! He is like, uh ok, geesh. Now he has a girlfriend with him, i never met and works the same place as me, but not the same floor. I am not up for someone in my CO knowing my family business! I take bro aside and explain, half in tears, and he says ma never told me, sorry. I am just not pleased. I already had gotten call from difficult child, but the call didnt go through and he didnt call back I wasn't happy. I wanted to talk to him not when I had company, ya know. Oh and girlfriend told me difficult child had FREE calls all day and he called her like 6 times already I was feeling sad. Then fast forward to same bro, now only husband, daughter, mom, bro and new girlfriend there, bro says so ya what place is difficult child at? and then why did he ger arrested? I blow off the ? and husband - who never says a thing, never opens his mouth about stuff like that, blurts out "cuz his roughed up his chick!" I am shocked and go duh, no he didn't, what are you talking about? (husband knows they are all unstable and I dont share stuff like that, I dont see them, talk to them all year, why have them know that stuff? I explained to husband before how I didnt tell mom that part so she wouldnt tell them) I stopped that and moved the converstaion on, but bro just doesn't know when to shut up, he is digging for all this dirt and in front of this co worker I dont know I wanted to die! He is asking "does difficult child's girlfriend do drugs? you know, they are a product of their environment..." um no she doesnt, and ds didnt learn that here or there... what a dumb thing to say! Then he says how he went to difficult child's place and described a mess and dirty place and how he just opened the door... etc. It was just an aweful conversation that had no place at that time. By the time they all left, I felt beat up and that noone understood what I was feeling... I am facing my difficult child having an addiction and he may never get better, what is ahead? just everything being so new and unknown and that fact that he may end up in jail or dead! Doesn't anyone get that????? Oh and sis that lives with mom was a no show, mom "couldn't get her out of bed" at 43 yrs old!! That is wrong! ANd bro 1 no show, his NEW girlfriend has a biopolar episode!!! An addict and a biopolar- oh god!!! So my family, ya I do not think I will host it next year. I cringe when ever they are around. I will have to do them seperatly than my husband's family. I am closer to husband's family than mine. They are so supportive and awesome people. What a train wreck! If this stuff with difficult child didnt happen last week, I would of cancelled for sure, I still should of I guess.