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General Parenting
Extreme aggressiveness, what happened in your case?
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<blockquote data-quote="MrConcerned" data-source="post: 654687" data-attributes="member: 18421"><p>Hello everyone. I am looking for some perspective. The Difficult Child in question is that of my sadly former long-term partner. He has been diagnosed with ODD since very early childhood, and now at 12 years old (12!), he has full-blown Conduct Disorder. His symptoms in the last year read like a sad checklist- stealing, running away, physical intimidation and abuse (he is a very big kid), physical fights, damaging the house, no remorse or empathy, lying, blame-shifting, verbal abuse, refusal to do schoolwork, non-compliance to almost every request. I love my former partner very much, but Difficult Child has at this point made a relationship not possible. I hung in there until my own anxiety and depression made it too hard to stay. </p><p></p><p>For years, I've stayed outside of every interaction of my partner with him, doing what the therapists said, letting her apply the behavioral techniques. My relationship with him was neutral but friendly- he described me as "cool". Then there was an incident. Difficult Child stole over $500 from my partner. I was in the house watching her speak with Difficult Child about it. He was insolent. As she left, he kicked her. I got involved- he had no problem punching a grown man; then he got a butcher knife and threatened me. This led to his first hospitalization. The insurance company wouldn't pay for residential treatment, he was released to her. He is now even more heavily medicated. That was it for our relationship (not the first challenge, just the last one).</p><p></p><p>I've read through the boards, but have found few incidents where the Difficult Child with CD actually threatens with a weapon. For those of you who have been through it, did the pattern continue, escalating with more use of weapons, more dangerous situations? Or were you able to control the behavior?</p><p></p><p>For kids with really hard-core CD, I don't see there is much hope. He is going to a wilderness program this summer- those programs seem to be the only effective strategies. Has anyone had a turnaround?</p><p></p><p>Looks like he is headed for anti-social personality disorder. It is frustrating not to be able to protect my former partner, but I think he is capable of killing me.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your perspective</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MrConcerned, post: 654687, member: 18421"] Hello everyone. I am looking for some perspective. The Difficult Child in question is that of my sadly former long-term partner. He has been diagnosed with ODD since very early childhood, and now at 12 years old (12!), he has full-blown Conduct Disorder. His symptoms in the last year read like a sad checklist- stealing, running away, physical intimidation and abuse (he is a very big kid), physical fights, damaging the house, no remorse or empathy, lying, blame-shifting, verbal abuse, refusal to do schoolwork, non-compliance to almost every request. I love my former partner very much, but Difficult Child has at this point made a relationship not possible. I hung in there until my own anxiety and depression made it too hard to stay. For years, I've stayed outside of every interaction of my partner with him, doing what the therapists said, letting her apply the behavioral techniques. My relationship with him was neutral but friendly- he described me as "cool". Then there was an incident. Difficult Child stole over $500 from my partner. I was in the house watching her speak with Difficult Child about it. He was insolent. As she left, he kicked her. I got involved- he had no problem punching a grown man; then he got a butcher knife and threatened me. This led to his first hospitalization. The insurance company wouldn't pay for residential treatment, he was released to her. He is now even more heavily medicated. That was it for our relationship (not the first challenge, just the last one). I've read through the boards, but have found few incidents where the Difficult Child with CD actually threatens with a weapon. For those of you who have been through it, did the pattern continue, escalating with more use of weapons, more dangerous situations? Or were you able to control the behavior? For kids with really hard-core CD, I don't see there is much hope. He is going to a wilderness program this summer- those programs seem to be the only effective strategies. Has anyone had a turnaround? Looks like he is headed for anti-social personality disorder. It is frustrating not to be able to protect my former partner, but I think he is capable of killing me. Thanks for your perspective [/QUOTE]
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