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General Parenting
Extreme aggressiveness, what happened in your case?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 654843" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I have to say that I have some resistance to the "wired differently" hypothesis. Of course I cannot and will not dispute the existence of developmental disorders such as Aspergers etcetera, and how can I dispute inherited tendencies towards psychosis, mood disorders and even personality disorders?</p><p></p><p>That I have wanted my adopted son to be "like me" has been a real burden for him. He tries to tell me, "Mom, I'm not like you." Things that come easily to me, are not such for him. What has guided my life and improved it, does not guide his. I get it.</p><p></p><p>Yes, he has followed in the steps of his birth parents...but not all of them. He is his own person. He is not me. He is not them. Yes he has inherited predispositions and he has limitations based upon what has happened to him, as do I, as do all of us. How is that different than for everybody else. He can make choices. Yes he is wired differently. So am I.</p><p></p><p>I do not believe things are writ in stone. I have seen too much happen in this life... I know that for most of us, there is free choice. Eventually for some people...things click....and they may get it.</p><p></p><p>There was the notion of the "bad seed" years ago, the idea that people are born bad and that this is their destiny. To me, the idea of "wiring" seems too much like the idea of "bad seed." Yes, I have to be realistic about biological determinants. At the same time, I do not believe that my son's wiring needs to carry the day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 654843, member: 18958"] I have to say that I have some resistance to the "wired differently" hypothesis. Of course I cannot and will not dispute the existence of developmental disorders such as Aspergers etcetera, and how can I dispute inherited tendencies towards psychosis, mood disorders and even personality disorders? That I have wanted my adopted son to be "like me" has been a real burden for him. He tries to tell me, "Mom, I'm not like you." Things that come easily to me, are not such for him. What has guided my life and improved it, does not guide his. I get it. Yes, he has followed in the steps of his birth parents...but not all of them. He is his own person. He is not me. He is not them. Yes he has inherited predispositions and he has limitations based upon what has happened to him, as do I, as do all of us. How is that different than for everybody else. He can make choices. Yes he is wired differently. So am I. I do not believe things are writ in stone. I have seen too much happen in this life... I know that for most of us, there is free choice. Eventually for some people...things click....and they may get it. There was the notion of the "bad seed" years ago, the idea that people are born bad and that this is their destiny. To me, the idea of "wiring" seems too much like the idea of "bad seed." Yes, I have to be realistic about biological determinants. At the same time, I do not believe that my son's wiring needs to carry the day. [/QUOTE]
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Extreme aggressiveness, what happened in your case?
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