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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 643495" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This is true in a way, SuZir.</p><p></p><p>In my family of origin, there has to be someone who is the wrong one. There has to be someone "outside" so the others can relish being "inside." </p><p></p><p>It has always been that way. It is a dynamic thing.</p><p></p><p>This designated outsider changes ~ but there always is one. There is always someone who has offended to such a degree that they must be isolated, thereby providing the core value around which the rest of the family unites. <em>Even, and maybe especially, the decision to isolate from the family will serve as an adequate reason to unite against the offending family member.</em></p><p></p><p>There is no way the designated isolated person could do right.</p><p></p><p>The determination has already been made.</p><p></p><p>But I see, in my family of origin, that the free flow of toxicity has to discharge somewhere. Initially, the chosen target does not have to be aware of it, for the toxic discharge to work. But, sort of like with a car battery that will no longer take a charge, when the family no longer has access to that relief that comes from blasting away at someone <em>who has always taken it, has always excused and believed it could all be made better, could be made to work if only we all made a conscious effort to do so </em>the energy no longer has anywhere to go. It turns inward and back onto them.</p><p></p><p>It seems to me that MWM's family of origin is still trying to focus and discharge their toxic energies through uniting against her.</p><p></p><p>Here is the thing. I am not sure why my sister is calling. I know she will be calling again, because she told me she will be. I get it that this is a little piece of domination. <em>But I don't hate her for it.</em> I am aware of the nature of the energy flow, now. It took a long time for me to get that these things could be true.</p><p></p><p>But that seems to be what is happening.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what to say or do or think about it, so I am not doing anything.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 643495, member: 17461"] This is true in a way, SuZir. In my family of origin, there has to be someone who is the wrong one. There has to be someone "outside" so the others can relish being "inside." It has always been that way. It is a dynamic thing. This designated outsider changes ~ but there always is one. There is always someone who has offended to such a degree that they must be isolated, thereby providing the core value around which the rest of the family unites. [I]Even, and maybe especially, the decision to isolate from the family will serve as an adequate reason to unite against the offending family member.[/I] There is no way the designated isolated person could do right. The determination has already been made. But I see, in my family of origin, that the free flow of toxicity has to discharge somewhere. Initially, the chosen target does not have to be aware of it, for the toxic discharge to work. But, sort of like with a car battery that will no longer take a charge, when the family no longer has access to that relief that comes from blasting away at someone [I]who has always taken it, has always excused and believed it could all be made better, could be made to work if only we all made a conscious effort to do so [/I]the energy no longer has anywhere to go. It turns inward and back onto them. It seems to me that MWM's family of origin is still trying to focus and discharge their toxic energies through uniting against her. Here is the thing. I am not sure why my sister is calling. I know she will be calling again, because she told me she will be. I get it that this is a little piece of domination. [I]But I don't hate her for it.[/I] I am aware of the nature of the energy flow, now. It took a long time for me to get that these things could be true. But that seems to be what is happening. I don't know what to say or do or think about it, so I am not doing anything. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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