We've avoided FB & MySpace because I've had my turn at being over-exposed and getting flamed.
However, I am on "Friends Reunited" and through them have attended reunions and also made contact with old schoolfriends. In one case it was very cathartic - we had a very abusive headmaster and in communicating with one another, I got a very different perspective on a couple of incidents. I think I gave some as well, because I remembered a severe injustice with one boy (man, now, obviously) and he hadn't realised that anyone else had even noticed how badly it had hurt him.
So if you're interested in finding out more about old classmates or past contacts from anywhere, check out Friends Reunited. An alternative.
easy child is on FaceBook and uses it to stay in touch with old friends from school as well as from places where they've lived or worked. An old classmate of hers now works at the clinic where difficult child 3 goes. I went in with difficult child 3 to his appointments with photos on my iPod and he said, "I've already seen them - easy child has them up on her friends page; I was on there last night reading her updates."
ON the other side - daughter in law is a bit concerned at photos of her wedding being on easy child's site; she's concerned about not having any say in photos of her being publicly posted. I think easy child has limited access, but it is something to consider when posting any photos.
WHich brings us to the question here - when you choose your friends online, you have certain expectations of them. In order to be sure of these expectations, you need to know them in some way. For someone to contact you out of the blue and say, "I want you to list me as a friend," is a worry and the request in itself should make you very wary; if they see nothing wrong in approaching you like this, then how much care will that person take in other aspects of their online usage? What if they use the 'friends' status to access parts of your page that are otherwise private, and then post them in broadcast fashion? You just don't know.
Sometimes you can meet someone and instantly click. But that is rare and again, you make your choices according to your own instincts. For anyone to expect you to flag you as a friend without having EARNED it - it's putting the person in a difficult position. To say no risks being rude (and nobody likes to think of themselves as being snobbish or rude). To say yes devalues what friendship means.
perhaps the best way out is to say, "I am flattered at your request but I limit Friends status to people I have met in person and who have been a significant part of my life in person at some stage."
ATV network in Sydney dicsussed (panel discussion) the case of a woman whose boss asked to be included as a Friend on MySpace. What should she do? If she says no, how will it impact her job? If she says yes, will she ever feel free to privately snipe about her job online? The outcome of the discussion - it was an unfair inappropriate request.
As it is in this case.
At least here, she can't take it out on your brother professionally if he refuses!
Marg