Family and Friends Intervention Meeting

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Carolyn9595, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. Carolyn9595

    Carolyn9595 Guest

    Has anyone tried this? Gather family, friends, coaches and everyone who is invested in the difficult child and have an agenda to talk about a plan for change with him? Of course, he won't change unless he wants to and he may just give lip service to them all but I am trying to work through all our options before we bring out the boot camp or Residential Treatment Center (RTC) idea. I don't mean to use the meeting to criticize him and run through his stupid actions. That would be contrary to any effectiveness. I saw this type of meeting on tv with an addict and how they pleaded with him to realize his actions and get help.
    My son now is about to be kicked out of his school due to so many disciplinary actions. He's probaby going to fail 10th grade anyway since he just sits and makes jokes. How do these kids just keep on like nothing is wrong when there is so much chaos?
    My husband whose world revolves around this child has become so distraught that he now says, "The Pain of having him around me is now More than the joy of loving him." I detached three years ago because I couldn't stand living in despair.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You really need to speak with a therapist about htis. The show intervention has quite a few videos on their site, including how to find a reputable therapist to run your intervention. I don't know that it would work in the situation you want. generally the people in the intervention all tell the addict how they will change their actions regarding the addict if treatment is not taken. I don't know how far you can, legally or personally, go and how many people would be willling to join you. Ito nly takes 1 person to tank the whole thing by giving him an escape route.

    This is NOT NOT NOT something that you can do on youro wn. You MUST have a therapist who is both experienced and skilled in interventions to run it. The videos include info on finding a certified interventionist - someone who has training in how to do it properly. The show and clips are available on .

    I strongly recommend the evaluation and reading the book "Parenting your Teen with Love and Logic" for both you and husband. It may help empower you both to push to put more effective logical consequences into place.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Carolyn, I just read in another thread that your son is taking Prozac and Vyvanse. If your son has an underlying mood disorder, there's a chance those medications could be making him worse instead of better. Have you talked to his psychiatrist about the medication combo?

    In addition, have you talked to an educational consultant about your options? There are a lot of good options out there to help troubled teens. Most kids your son's age don't understand that they need help, They need to be shown that they need help through the programs they attend.

    Good luck.
  4. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    Hi Lost my earlier response
    those kind of interventions are usually designed to get the addict into a program. You need to identify a progrm that iwll meet his needs. then they can advise on best way to get him there.

    Tell your husband that the best thing we did to improve our relatiohshop with our son was to send him to wilderness program. You need help to get out of the downward spiral you are in and kid has to change but parents have to examine what they are doing too. Programs help you do it. Talk therapy for your son once s week is probably not going to accomplish very much if things have gotten where they are.

    It really can be a lifechanging positive experience. It was the single best thing we have done.
    Smallworld has givenyou some great resources. I strongly advise getting an ed consultant to help you make the choice and hold your hand through the process.
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member


    pepperidge those are soo expensive, im glad it helped. we wanted to send easy child yet couldnt' swing it.

    i'm sorry to hear that you feel as though I did about a year ago with my own teen easy child gone difficult child, yet as others said i'd check with a therapist before you go and do an intervention. plus in my own opinion i dont think taht type of approach unless he's addicted to drugs or alcohol would work and im guessing he isnt'.

    just wanted to say good luck. (((Hugs))))
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Like Pepperidge's son, my son attended a wilderness program for 8 weeks in summer 2009. It was the hardest decision we've ever made as parents, but it was also the best decision we ever made for him. After wilderness, he went on to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah for 16 months. He just graduated from high school there, and he's now home -- full of plans for his future. I am convinced it never would have happened had we not sent him away to programs that helped him.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sometimes you can get insurance to help pay for residential or even get a placement that is a sliding scale feel. My son went to a private, church based wilderness camp in my state which was sliding scale and accepted his SSI check as payment. If he is in a residential facility for so long...cant remember exactly how many days/months he can be eligible for SSI and medicaid which should open up some funding.
  8. Carolyn9595

    Carolyn9595 Guest

    Again, great advice from all of you. I will follow up on your suggestions.