A little background. Sister 1 (S1) is 2 years younger than me and is a successful business woman and an SO she's been with for over 20 years. Sister 2 (S2) is 6 years younger than me, was married and has 2 kids. About 2 years ago, S2 got her family into such financial trouble (shopaholic) that they almost lost their house. They turned their finances over to S1 to manage to help get them out. S1's name was added to their accounts so she could help with the banking. No problem. Four years ago, S2 walked out on her husband and kids to go live with another man. Kids were teenagers and were given the choice as to where to live. They chose to stay with my brother in law in their lifelong home, their school, their jobs, and their friends. Boyfriend has a record of assaults, rape, and DUI's. S2 filed for divorce after a year of NO contact with ANYONE outside of harrassing phone calls and breaking (broke doors & windows) into the house (brother in law changed the locks) to take anything she wanted. She even tried to clear out ALL their accounts but brother in law had told S1 to transfer all the money into an account that was in his name only until everything could be settled by the court. S2 called S1 and threatened to have her thrown in jail for theft. A few weeks later she accused S2 of having an affair with brother in law after S1 left. S2 managed to hire a shark of a lawyer and brother in law could only afford a so-so one. She managed to leave brother in law with all the debt, the kids, and the house but she got a NICE financial settlement and most of the house furnishings. S2 has since gotten counseling and has apologized to all of us. She is on speaking-ony terms with brother in law and my mom and I have started to have contact with her. We have not forgiven or forgotten what she did to our whole family (we were VERY close-knit). S1 will not talk to S2 and will not have anything to do with her. S2 is not included in family events because of the way she treated us and the fact that S1 suffered the most and wants nothing to do with her. My boys' birthday is next week. They are so busy with the community play and difficult child 2's job that The day of their birhtday for lunch is the only time we have to "celebrate". I knew S2 was going to be coming to my mom's sometime that day and spending the night. I made plans for S1, my mom, and the 3 of us to have lunch and then open presents after at my mom's because we have a dog and mom is severely allergic. Total about 1-2 hours tops. S2 says whe will be coming in the morning and that S2 is the only one that will have a problem with her being there. From the sounds of it, she will make us choose between her and S1. I asked if she would wait & come to mom's in the afternoon (she only lives 45 minutes from us) so my kids could celebrate their birthday with everyone, just not at the same time. She changed the subject. WHY can't these two see what they are doing to this family? S2 is one of those that does NOTHING wrong, everything is someone else's fault and she didn't do anything wrong when she left or after. I am just sooooo frustrated that this stubbornness on both their parts is probably going to ruin my boys' birthday plans. Thanks for reading this far and for letting me vent. Sorry it's so long.