I think I am dealing with typical teen behaviour here. If you disagree, please let me know. difficult child 1 started high school this year. Most of the people there came from 1 of a few other middle schools. She is new. I am advising her to join some of the clubs so she can meet like-minded kids and for her college applications. She says I am "hassling" her. According to husband, she treats me with a lack of respect. I don't disagree but it seems pretty mild and typical teen. I probably have a high tolerance from when she was definitely a difficult child. Our other daughter is chronically ill, housebound, and somewhat disabled. Her fatigue is so bad she can't walk down the stairs. I homeschool her. Obviously, there is a lot of attention focused on her and my expectations of her are much less than for difficult child 1. She struggles to get through the day as it is and adding more chores would not help anything. I am sure difficult child 1 feels this is unfair and it is. I ask her if she would want to trade places with difficult child 2 when she complains. Still, there is some resentment on her part, I am sure. I feel like husband and I need to make an effort to have one on one time with difficult child 1. I want to try to build a more positive relationship with her. husband thinks if she is treating me this way, I should not take her out for fun outings. I think if I wait for her behaviour to be up to husband's standards, we may never get to go. As an example, I am making difficult child 1 go to a program on teen alcohol use put on at her school with me. I want to go out to dinner beforehand with her so it isn't just me dragging her to this lecture. We probably will go to the mall, too. She is unhappy that she might not get picked up right away after school and is complaining about that. I was also asking her about the club situation at school which she didn't like. husband jumps in and gets on her for her disrespect when I am trying to do something nice for her, making the situation worse. husband says he can not stand by and see someone treat his wife that way. I get that, but it did make the situation worse. difficult child 1 ended up in tears. I was angry with him, where I really hadn't been angry at difficult child before. husband thinks me taking her to restaurants and the mall even when she treats me this way is contributing to the problem. What do you all think? She has a clothes budget and I'm not going to spend over that. Also, the only reason we would even go the mall is because we have a time gap between picking her up at school, eating, and the lecture. The school is far enough away that it doesn't make sense to come home.