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Family History Question
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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 9515" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>I have a similar situation, needing family medical history for myself and for difficult child, and both my fathers side and difficult child's fathers side have complicated dynamics between us/them. </p><p>I guess my personal opinion is that many people are unaware of their family medical history and really in the end all it does to help doctors/patients is lend a "higher possibility" of having a certain disease/disorder etc. It would be great for me, considering the neuro issues I am having, to have specifics of anything neuro in the history on my fathers side. But I also think that you have to weigh the pros/cons of contact with people who are not involved in your life.</p><p>In your situation, I would ask myself "what is the reason for the non-communication between husband and his mother". Obviously there is a reason they are not in touch. Would you be opening up a really large wound? Would it be difficult for husband to know contact is because of medical reasons only? Would it be uncomfortable for either of them? </p><p>I know for me there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that would convince me to reach out to my father's side of the family for medical information. And that is during a time when alot of light may be shed on my neuro issues if there was some sort of neuro issues with any of my aunts/uncles etc. It might help docs narrow down possibilities with me. But for me it would open up something that the door was slammed shut on years ago, and I couldn't handle reopening.</p><p>If it is just a matter of losing touch, with no hard feelings or awkwardness with husband and his mother, then I would perhaps do the letter route, but with husband's input that he is comfortable with it. I just wonder how a parent/son drift to non-communication for years if there isnt' something below the surface that is painful for one or both of them.</p><p>Either way, good luck!</p><p></p><p>Melissa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 9515, member: 50"] I have a similar situation, needing family medical history for myself and for difficult child, and both my fathers side and difficult child's fathers side have complicated dynamics between us/them. I guess my personal opinion is that many people are unaware of their family medical history and really in the end all it does to help doctors/patients is lend a "higher possibility" of having a certain disease/disorder etc. It would be great for me, considering the neuro issues I am having, to have specifics of anything neuro in the history on my fathers side. But I also think that you have to weigh the pros/cons of contact with people who are not involved in your life. In your situation, I would ask myself "what is the reason for the non-communication between husband and his mother". Obviously there is a reason they are not in touch. Would you be opening up a really large wound? Would it be difficult for husband to know contact is because of medical reasons only? Would it be uncomfortable for either of them? I know for me there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that would convince me to reach out to my father's side of the family for medical information. And that is during a time when alot of light may be shed on my neuro issues if there was some sort of neuro issues with any of my aunts/uncles etc. It might help docs narrow down possibilities with me. But for me it would open up something that the door was slammed shut on years ago, and I couldn't handle reopening. If it is just a matter of losing touch, with no hard feelings or awkwardness with husband and his mother, then I would perhaps do the letter route, but with husband's input that he is comfortable with it. I just wonder how a parent/son drift to non-communication for years if there isnt' something below the surface that is painful for one or both of them. Either way, good luck! Melissa [/QUOTE]
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