Family meeting was a bust!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    But who here is really all that surprised by that? Our (mine and husband's) part went well, we told them how she shuts down and deflects questions and manipulates. When she came in, she refused to answer certain questions with us in the room. They were safety related ie did she have a suicide plan, any attempts if yes how many and she said she refused to answer, and it was stupid. So we ended it, and her social worker looked at her and said "well if you do not want to be honest as to why you are here, and take ownership of certain things you will not be getting out of here anytime soon." So, she was peeved. I went down to her room to help her carry her clothes and blanket down, and she said "I really screwed that up" I for a second thought "wow she got it!" nah. not so much. She was blaming me and being nasty during visitation tonight. So, I got up and left.
    She thinks she will be leveling up tomorrow. Ha ha! Her nurse practitioner called and told me that she is going to recommend that she move her down a level!! I told her to go for it. difficult child is going to be sooo mad. She can't participate in group, and she has to use a crayon to write with. Also, no spoons or forks!! Oh she has to sit at her desk with and aide and work on her issues one on one. All.Day. Can we guess how visitation will go? I am guessing we will be there about 10 minutes and she will be so snarly and snarky that we will last maybe 10 minutes.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I think you are exactly right but to be honest, I give it LESS than 10 minutes. If she is as angry as everyone thinks, she may refuse to see you. OR you can hope it is enough to make her turn around....I know...wishful thinking! LOL

    You did good mom. Some things are just beyond our control. SHE has to learn that.
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Yep. We told them she had to take ownership of this before we would take her home. So, we will see. I give it less than 10 also really. Except that she wants me to bring her something. Soda snacks etc. She also wants a stuffed animal from the gift shop. I laughed at her. Told her I would bring a stuffed from home. Told her this wasn't a vacation. I may take a soda and snack, but if she is nasty she will get none. She hates the hospital food. I told her I didn't really care. I have finally reached my limit with her. I am done crying over this. I am finally realizing that I did not do this. I have felt that this is my fault somehow, but not now. I am over accepting the blame.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Holy strictness.... well she is gonna get it one way or another, Did she sleep?

    I am so glad they are seeing this actually, not fooling them like php.

    Did they say anything to you about how long they think she is staying? Are they going to do any testing?

    Enjoy the time you have off as much as possible....try to sleep tonight, OK?
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Looks like this time the psychiatric hospital is "getting it", which really increases the chances of her getting help. And that, of course, is the whole point...
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Are you required to attend visits everyday? If not, I would not visit her if the prior visit was nasty. It is a natural consequence of her being an idiot to you. And I would especially not bring her a treat. My son was 15 when went into a state mental hospital but turned 16 after they placed him into the state psychiatric residential placement facility on the same grounds. Of course she started off at the lowest level and we could only see him in the building at first. That was the first level. I believe level zero. As they go up they got more freedom. I believe first level was seeing in the building or seeing on the grounds but not leaving the hospital grounds. He hated either of those levels.

    My son actually came up on his own with the idea that we should not come up to visit him if he was not on a level where he could leave the hospital. That meant level 2 or above I believe. At that point he could at least leave the grounds long enough to go to a movie or walk around the mall for a bit.
  7. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Buddy, she said she did sleep. And, she seemed pretty well rested. Her nurse said she really thinks it is something at school that is causing this. I agreed with her 1000%. It was like Finally someone else is seeing what is going on. She also noticed the spot on her wrist she was picking, and her nails and cuticles. She said that proves that her anxiety is off the charts still. She said that her nervous picking is almost uncontrollable. How is it that no one else has noticed this? I am curious to see what level she is today when they call.
    That is the other nice thing. Her nurse call me every afternoon with an update. And, she is seeing right through difficult child. So, she can't pull that ****. It looks like she will be there until Monday. So, it will be almost a week.
    Janet, I am going to go tonight to see how it goes, but will be telling her that I am not going to come and be disrespected. That if she wants to blame me for things, then I will just stay home.
    IC, I hope this is going to increase our ability to get help. Her Nurse said that she would normally recommend PHP after discharge, but since she is having school issues, she wants to get her back into school. And, I agreed that she will use php as a diversion. So, RN said she was going to push difficult child to get to the bottom of the school issue, and try to get her some help with whatever it is.
    While I am happy she is there getting help, I am worried about what will happen when she gets home.
  8. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    If she's going to be nasty, I wouldn't bother to visit. Why waste your time only to get treated like garbage? She needs to understand that the reason that she's in the psychiatric hospital to begin with is because of her action. Not yours. HERS! Until she truly gets that and wants to get to the bottom of whatever is causing her all of this anxiety she has to eat hospital food, get no stuffed animal from the gift shop, and get few visits.

    Sometimes they just have to understand that they bring these things on themselves.

    You're doing great! Keep up the good work!
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Bunny, I am going tonight to let her know what is going to happen if she continues this, because I did tell her yesterday that I would see her today. And you are very right she needs to understand her actions caused this. When we were in our family/safety mtg. she kept telling the social worker that she was there because she wouldn't go to school, and I told them to keep her. She had no clue that it was because she had said she would run from school and not be safe. The SW told her he was done. That she needed to think about why she was really there. That kids don't go there because their parents say so. husband and I are so curious to here from the nurse to see what level she is on. I may call in a bit just to check in and find out. Is it wrong that I find it rather funny that she will have to do her work with a crayon and eat with her fingers? And that it will say on the board that she is on FYI. So everyone can see that she go demoted. Nothing like putting it out there for everyone to see.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad that the staff finally has a clue and is doing something about it. I am sorry that she has to suffer so much because of her own actions but that's what this is all about. Consequences and learning.
    You GO, Warrior Mom!
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Yeah. I just called to see if she leveled up or if they made her move down like her nurse wanted. Well, I just talked to a new nurse who had not met difficult child yet. She was completely snowed by difficult child. She said she was respectful and had done her goals. And her paper work was great. UGH!!! Step, sound familiar at all? I told the nurse to be very careful because she is very manipulative. So, I guess I need to wait until 1 to find out. Sigh.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    THAT is a frustrating thing in the hospital if you ask person says one thing then another says another...uggg

    But keep them on their toes and tell them to fully talk to each other! Let us know how your visit goes... thinking of you.............