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Family member triggering childs meltdown
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<blockquote data-quote="ahhjeez" data-source="post: 725117" data-attributes="member: 16999"><p>I just wanted to post to say that I'm so sorry that your dad just doesn't understand. My 19 year old son and husband are both on the spectrum. Fortunately, my family is and was incredibly understanding and willing to learn about autism. While there were a couple of family members who made comments etc., the majority got it. You are in a tough spot in not having your own place and I can totally sympathize. I agree with Susie in that you are going to need to stick up for your daughter to your dad. She needs the support (which I know you are giving her), but unfortunately is being undermined by your dad. It's critically important to her that she is supported. I'm not saying that your not. I'm more saying that what your dad is doing is undermining your parenting with her and that's not acceptable. My son had a lot of sensory issues and to the outside world I'm sure I looked like a lunatic, but these were things he couldn't help. His brain is wired in a way that he couldn't filter out many of the stimuli that I could. His dad is the same way. For example. My son was terrified of public toilets because the flush was generally automatic and so loud. Like the hand dryers. I carried a little portable potty around in my car for a really long time for him. The same with vacuuming. I couldn't do it if he was in the house. My broom got quite a workout. LOL. To someone who doesn't understand autism that would look like coddling. Which is what I'm thinking your dad believes he's seeing. But it's not. It's being sensitive to how someone else's brain is wired. How they see and perceive the world and how they react to sensory stimuli. I still make concessions that I'm sure other people would find odd. But it's what both my husband son need. That's it at the end of the day. It's what they need to function. </p><p></p><p>I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this. You sound like a wonderful and sensitive mom who is in such a tough spot. I wish you all the best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ahhjeez, post: 725117, member: 16999"] I just wanted to post to say that I'm so sorry that your dad just doesn't understand. My 19 year old son and husband are both on the spectrum. Fortunately, my family is and was incredibly understanding and willing to learn about autism. While there were a couple of family members who made comments etc., the majority got it. You are in a tough spot in not having your own place and I can totally sympathize. I agree with Susie in that you are going to need to stick up for your daughter to your dad. She needs the support (which I know you are giving her), but unfortunately is being undermined by your dad. It's critically important to her that she is supported. I'm not saying that your not. I'm more saying that what your dad is doing is undermining your parenting with her and that's not acceptable. My son had a lot of sensory issues and to the outside world I'm sure I looked like a lunatic, but these were things he couldn't help. His brain is wired in a way that he couldn't filter out many of the stimuli that I could. His dad is the same way. For example. My son was terrified of public toilets because the flush was generally automatic and so loud. Like the hand dryers. I carried a little portable potty around in my car for a really long time for him. The same with vacuuming. I couldn't do it if he was in the house. My broom got quite a workout. LOL. To someone who doesn't understand autism that would look like coddling. Which is what I'm thinking your dad believes he's seeing. But it's not. It's being sensitive to how someone else's brain is wired. How they see and perceive the world and how they react to sensory stimuli. I still make concessions that I'm sure other people would find odd. But it's what both my husband son need. That's it at the end of the day. It's what they need to function. I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this. You sound like a wonderful and sensitive mom who is in such a tough spot. I wish you all the best. [/QUOTE]
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