Woofens
New Member
Sorry I didn't post an update yesterday, it was a looong day and Friday is my night out with SO. We go out to dinner at Outback every Friday night, and have been doing it for so long it is like visiting friends. The owner, head manager and our server all come sit with us, and we usually end up spending 2 or 3 hours there, its a welcome break from every day life. To top it off, our server is in college majoring in Psychology LOL I call him our server because he is the only one that waits on us, he impressed us that much. Poor kid is permanently closing on Friday nights because we will go someplace else or the manager will wait our table if he isn't there. We had a couple bad servers there and made some noise about it.
OK, on to the important stuff. Bio-dad and his SO didn't call me back about the meeting at the psychiatric hospital, and didn't show up. They have some other stuff going on in their lives and I understand that, but I still think they could have at least called. My SO got a friend to cover at work for him so he could be there. We spent about 45 minutes with the therapist before they brought difficult child J in. About another 45 minutes with him in the room. Didn't really learn anything new, got updates on how he is doing, SO brought up something that happened the first day he was there, that I didn't tell you guys about so here that is... We left the psychiatric hospital after admitting him at almost 10 PM. I hadn't taken any clothes or anything with us, hadn't really thought about it, wasn't sure he would be admitted. My SO left for work early the next morning to take him clothes, dropped them off on the ward at 7 AM When difficult child called me that night at 6:30 PM, he asked me why I didn't bring him clothes. I told him that SO had brought them that morning he said "No he didn't." I asked him what he was wearing, and he told me his clothes from the day before. Now, difficult child has an issue with his clothes being dirty. He will change clothes 4 or 5 times a day sometimes if he thinks he is dirty. His hands face and feet can be filthy, but he hates dirty clothes. Him wearing clothes he wore the day before was a major factor in him being "shy and withdrawn" (according to the nurse I spoke to) I spoke to the staff about it, and they told me that they had had a very busy day with 2 discharges and 2 new admissions, and that he would have his clothes in time for his shower and bed. I wasn't going to bring it up again at the meeting, figured difficult child wasn't stressing about it anymore and that maybe it was just an oversight on the part of the staff. SO brought it up during the meeting, and the therapist was very upset about it. Especially when we explained to her difficult child's aversion to clothes he felt were "dirty". She said she would speak to the staff about it because it was inexcusable for a child to spend 2 days in the same clothes. I told her that if I sent difficult child to school in the same clothes 2 days in a row, I'd have CPS crawling up my behind. She agreed with that.
We asked about his psychiatric evaluation, and were told the psychiatrist had ordered one and that I needed to fill out a picture. (Some kind of true/false personality test). We talked with difficult child about ways to deal with his anger without hurting people.
All in all, it didn't really tell us anything new, but we are on the right track I think. When it was time to leave difficult child got very upset, and they had to pry him off of me again, and I left to the sounds of him screaming for me again. That is so hard... I feel horrible when it happens.
I went back later after lunch and filled out the picture. When I was finished, I could see difficult child through a small window in his group, playing. We was laughing and having fun, so when they asked if I wanted to see him, I said yes, but it will just upset him again, and he is having fun. So I left without really "seeing" him.
When he called last night, we talked about him playing, and I told him I had seen him having fun. He asked how, and I told him that when I came back to do the paperwork, I saw him through the window, but that he was having fun so I left. He said that was OK because he would see me Saturday. WOO HOO... A tiny bit or progress?? He also said that as for visiting, tomorrow (Saturday) was a yes, the next day (Sunday) was a yes, the next day (Monday) was no, and the next day (Tuesday) was a yes. So obviously someone sat him down and explained the visitation to him so that he understands. So now hopefully I won't get the "You didn't come see me because you didn't want to" conversation anymore. We had a good talk, talked about possibly getting a trampoline next spring, that his new goggles for his dirt bike had come in and that I had picked them up, about what they have been feeding him.. the chicken nuggets were a hit, the stuffed shells were not LOL All in all, it was a good conversation, and he hung up without begging me to come get him.
Bio-dad finally called last night, after I left a nasty message on his answering machine about visitation this weekend, and how if he didn't call me he wouldn't be able to see difficult child. I had already decided that I would take bio-dad and his SO off the list if he didn't call me last night. He and So are supposed to meet me this evening so they can follow me to the psychiatric hospital. If they don't show up, I will be taking them off the list. I don't need this **** on top of everything else. Bio-dad is also supposed to come pick up easy child 1 and easy child 2 Sunday for his regular visit with them. We'll see, I don't have high hopes for that. He has let me and them down too many times.
Hope everyone has a good weekend, and thanks for the support and advice and mostly for "listening"
Hugs
Jan
OK, on to the important stuff. Bio-dad and his SO didn't call me back about the meeting at the psychiatric hospital, and didn't show up. They have some other stuff going on in their lives and I understand that, but I still think they could have at least called. My SO got a friend to cover at work for him so he could be there. We spent about 45 minutes with the therapist before they brought difficult child J in. About another 45 minutes with him in the room. Didn't really learn anything new, got updates on how he is doing, SO brought up something that happened the first day he was there, that I didn't tell you guys about so here that is... We left the psychiatric hospital after admitting him at almost 10 PM. I hadn't taken any clothes or anything with us, hadn't really thought about it, wasn't sure he would be admitted. My SO left for work early the next morning to take him clothes, dropped them off on the ward at 7 AM When difficult child called me that night at 6:30 PM, he asked me why I didn't bring him clothes. I told him that SO had brought them that morning he said "No he didn't." I asked him what he was wearing, and he told me his clothes from the day before. Now, difficult child has an issue with his clothes being dirty. He will change clothes 4 or 5 times a day sometimes if he thinks he is dirty. His hands face and feet can be filthy, but he hates dirty clothes. Him wearing clothes he wore the day before was a major factor in him being "shy and withdrawn" (according to the nurse I spoke to) I spoke to the staff about it, and they told me that they had had a very busy day with 2 discharges and 2 new admissions, and that he would have his clothes in time for his shower and bed. I wasn't going to bring it up again at the meeting, figured difficult child wasn't stressing about it anymore and that maybe it was just an oversight on the part of the staff. SO brought it up during the meeting, and the therapist was very upset about it. Especially when we explained to her difficult child's aversion to clothes he felt were "dirty". She said she would speak to the staff about it because it was inexcusable for a child to spend 2 days in the same clothes. I told her that if I sent difficult child to school in the same clothes 2 days in a row, I'd have CPS crawling up my behind. She agreed with that.
We asked about his psychiatric evaluation, and were told the psychiatrist had ordered one and that I needed to fill out a picture. (Some kind of true/false personality test). We talked with difficult child about ways to deal with his anger without hurting people.
All in all, it didn't really tell us anything new, but we are on the right track I think. When it was time to leave difficult child got very upset, and they had to pry him off of me again, and I left to the sounds of him screaming for me again. That is so hard... I feel horrible when it happens.
I went back later after lunch and filled out the picture. When I was finished, I could see difficult child through a small window in his group, playing. We was laughing and having fun, so when they asked if I wanted to see him, I said yes, but it will just upset him again, and he is having fun. So I left without really "seeing" him.
When he called last night, we talked about him playing, and I told him I had seen him having fun. He asked how, and I told him that when I came back to do the paperwork, I saw him through the window, but that he was having fun so I left. He said that was OK because he would see me Saturday. WOO HOO... A tiny bit or progress?? He also said that as for visiting, tomorrow (Saturday) was a yes, the next day (Sunday) was a yes, the next day (Monday) was no, and the next day (Tuesday) was a yes. So obviously someone sat him down and explained the visitation to him so that he understands. So now hopefully I won't get the "You didn't come see me because you didn't want to" conversation anymore. We had a good talk, talked about possibly getting a trampoline next spring, that his new goggles for his dirt bike had come in and that I had picked them up, about what they have been feeding him.. the chicken nuggets were a hit, the stuffed shells were not LOL All in all, it was a good conversation, and he hung up without begging me to come get him.
Bio-dad finally called last night, after I left a nasty message on his answering machine about visitation this weekend, and how if he didn't call me he wouldn't be able to see difficult child. I had already decided that I would take bio-dad and his SO off the list if he didn't call me last night. He and So are supposed to meet me this evening so they can follow me to the psychiatric hospital. If they don't show up, I will be taking them off the list. I don't need this **** on top of everything else. Bio-dad is also supposed to come pick up easy child 1 and easy child 2 Sunday for his regular visit with them. We'll see, I don't have high hopes for that. He has let me and them down too many times.
Hope everyone has a good weekend, and thanks for the support and advice and mostly for "listening"
Hugs
Jan
