Family....the best of times....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Dec 1, 2008.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    the worst of times. I love my family ~ they are some of the most supportive loving people in the world. We had a wonderful holiday weekend.

    AND I was harassed continually (in front of kt most times) about what I was going to do - when I was moving down to be closer to them.

    I was exhausted, beyond confused & in a great deal of pain from the trip & I had no immediate answers. There is much to do to move from one state to another; the services are my main concern. wm is another concern as I would be his only outside contact (I doubt husband would willingly visit, call or handle the wm end) & I'd be over 300 miles away. It'd be easier if I was healthier & could drive.

    I'm researching many things; my health has to be a great deal more stable however I need another adult in the house especially on the weekends kt doesn't have respite.

    Sorry about the whining. I'm blessed beyond belief to have my family. I'm blessed that my brother would drive over 700 miles to pick kt & I up to celebrate the holiday with our family. I'm blessed that my sister in law would drive us home in crummy weather. I miss their companionship already - just not the incessant questions that I have no answers to yet; that I haven't finished the research.

  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Linda, I can't imagine how difficult it is to be questioned so soon. There is a lot to be said for giving this time.
    There is no law that says that your 20yr marriage can not heal and restart.
    Making a decision to move is too soon. As you say, you don't have the research done.
    Wait as long as you need to get your ducks in a row before you make any final decisions.

    I hope your health improves.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so glad that you were able to spend time with your family. I think a reminder to them not to question you in front of kt is in order. I also think they should give you time. I am sure they are worried. Want to make sure you have someone to help you.

    Take the time you need. Do not do anything quickly. You know how hard you have fought for the services these kids have and you also know how changing that alone causes most difficult children to spiral. Just take some time. I wish you had more support for your health issues. Maybe your doctor should be called to order some in home support for you?
  4. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Many hgus. Family can be so beneficial. Yet they sometimes can't see that there good intentions aren't helping. It is a slow process and the fact you don't want to rush things means you are trying to do it the right way. Let them know that it has to be done slowly. Sometimes they just need it spelled out for them.

  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    It's so nice to have people, especially family, who are excited to be with you and wanting and willing to help in any way they can. I can see how you're excusing them all of their questions because you know they come out of love and concern for your well being.

    Take the time you need to process everything and get all your ducks in a row. Perhaps sending a gentle reminder to your loved ones to limit their questioning when kt is not around in the future would help you not feel overwhelmed at this already overwhelming time. I had to remind my family of that over the years a few times in relation to my separation and subsequent divorce from exh, their dad.

    Hugs ~
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Linda sending many gentle hugs your way. You and the tweedles and husband are always in my prayers.

    Don't let anyone rush the decisions. You have to do what's best for you and the kids. I'm so glad you have such a supportive family though.

    Due to your illness.......couldn't perhaps the doctor prescribe a visiting nurse to come in and sit on weekends kt is home? Or maybe get some sort of in home aide for her when not in respite?

    Take your time and think things thru. There is no rush.

  7. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    It's very good that you have such a supportive family. As Jo said, I think all their questions come from caring and wanting to be able to help you, which they can't do since you live a bit away from them. But moving with any child is not that simple, you're taking them away from everything familiar (friends, school, neighborhood), and a child like ours it's even more complicated. Try not to rush, take your time, there's so many big changes happening in your life right now.

  8. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Oh, you spent the holidays surrounded by your family! You are loved. The fact is it can feel ding dang awful what we go through in life and anyone who has been around knows it. Manytimes when people are asking and talking what they want heard is traslated into: I care. I do not know how to help. This is me caring off the hip.I am poking you in your sore spot so that you know I know THAT is what is hurting you.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    This is all going so fast, your head must be spinning. I know that you will make good decisions and keep your wits about you. I hope that your family will do their best to understand and help you.
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I dont know how I missed this one. I'm so glad you enjoyed your time there and that family at the end of the day is always there for you. Even though the questions came flooding in with-o a break Im sure it's nice that they love you and the kids so very much.

    You will know what the right thing is to do for you. Whatever that is we will all be here for you.

  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Just sending support... I think you have every right and need to take things slow and give yourself all the time you need.... and yes, I agree with letting the family know that you need some time. I am glad they were with you through T-day, though and it's nice that they are showing you so much love and support.
  12. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Linda, I can't even imagine how much your head must be spinning. Big hugs.

  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I agree. You are so smart and have come so far. Take your time, this is another huge decision that you have and will make. Some of it may be out of your hands, but most of it is your decision.
    Everyone is very lucky to have you.
    I am glad you got to have a bit of a nice Holiday.