Family Therapy!!!

[I'm going crazy!!!]

We finally got a meeting with the family therapist for this Thursday I am so glad, relieved, nervous, anxious, I don't think I missed any.
Hopefully this will not only help difficult child with anger issues, us with better behavior management plan, but also husband to understand difficult child better and not just focus on the negative because I am emotionally, physically & mentally drained.
I'm having headaches every day and we finally had our first public meltdown.
I feel so special NOT it really bothered husband and I was really shocked that it didn't embarras me but I just picked him up took him outside and let him spin around on the sidewalk on his backside until husband came out then picked him up but i didn't think i was ever gonna get him in the carseat he is soooo strong.
Where do they get all that strength from? It's not natural!

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

I also just got off the phone with the pediatrician and set up an appointment for them to him so we can get a referral for a multi displinary evaluation

Is there anything I need to specifically tell them besides that he's out of control and his behavior is progressively getting worse and NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER?

 

[TerryJ2]

I would be specific in regard to "how" he's out of control--excessive screaming for an hour, drawing blood, hitting his head on the wall, whatever. Be very specific. Those evaluations take forever to get into so no matter what you say, expect a wait.
Sigh.
I, too, wonder where they get the strength, Christal!

 

[Star*]

A notebook will be invaluable (can't stress this enough) to letting your doctor in on days, dates, times and medications (if any).

If you want help - you have to help yourself (or so I was told) years ago. And started keeping journals with all the above mentioned items. The LARGEST reason it helps most people is because people (therapists, psychiatric docs, etc.) in this business get burnt out quickly. Average stay here is 18 months if that depending on the severity of the caseloads.

I showed this to the last psychiatric. we had and he was in shock that I had kept such good records, but more over that MY records were more detailed than any of the reports from any one else. It helped him build a past picture or history in his mind of what had been tried, what worked what didn't.

And the psychiatric evaluations you get ? make a special folder for those and keep copies and mark the word COPY on them so if you are asked for them you can quickly hand out a copy in the language a psychiatric doctor understands.

Hope this helps - congrats on the meetings - I promise you won't regret doing this. I know the feeling of being drained. Not fun.

Hugs
Star

 

[busywend]

I agree with the journaling. When you are in the hear of the moment it is hard to describe what you are actually seeing. After your difficult child is in bed, sit down and evaluate the day's events. It is also a good idea to keep track of foods, potty issues, and sleep habits. All are helpful - especially if difficult child goes on medications. Those are the things that change first most times.

Congrats on getting the appointment quick! I had to wait 6 months!

 

[Wiped Out]

Ditto on the journaling. I used to take a daily journal with me to difficult child's appts. and it really helped because then I didn't forget things. Glad you have an appointment. soon!

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

UPDATE


husband and I met with the counselor tonight and husband is a little concerned that after I described the CiCi's meltdown the counselor's eyes got wide and husband worries that counselor may not be ready to handle difficult child. There are some concerns about husband I just don't think he's getting it!! The library finally got Dr. Green's book in so I just started reading it. I told husband I would be leaving notes as to what sections I wanted him to read as I got to them each night and he could read them while I was at work the next day and we could discuss them later. husband told difficult child he was lazy the other day husband says it just slipped out because difficult child refused to get dressed and husband had to dress him we had some words over this and I think husband knows that is unacceptable. Anyway tonight we told the counselor we were trying to get difficult child a Multi-Disciplinary Evaluation and I had to describe it to him so he would know if we were talking about the same things. He also called difficult child's meltdowns a tantrum I sure hope he throws a big one for him and then we'll see if he still wants to call it a tantrum cause I sure aint never seen one like these LOL. difficult child sees him Thursday for the first time and we made it very clear that difficult child needed some anger management that he could do himself when he needed to if that was possible at his age and if not then we could atleast start to teach them to him anyway. I also let him know that I was not against medications if that's what it took to help him control himself. I think Thursday will be fun husband is taking difficult child to counseling session!! therapist will see difficult child until he feels he has gotten to know him well enough to give us some input and then he will make an appointment with us to discuss some behaviour management ideas. husband and I decided if he's only in there for about 15 - 20 minutes then maybe this therapist isn't the right match for difficult child. How long do these sessions usually last I know they will just be getting to know each other but are we being unreasonable. I really need ya'lls opinions hear this all new area for me. Thanks The sleeping medications are working really well only now that he's getting so much sleep he's VERY HYPER in the mornings but in a good mood so I can deal with it but husband is having a hard time. Before anyone talks about husband let me tell you he has AS and it's really hard for him to understand how this is acceptable at all plus he's 14 years older than me and was raised by his grandparents so he is really from the because I said so generation and that does not work with difficult child sorry this is so long but just wanted to keep ya'll informed thanks for reading you guys are the best love ya