HopeRemains
New Member
Hi ladies. Yesterday was a bad day. difficult child stayed home from school because he was "sick". This rarely happens, because he is rarely sick. But we have all been sick, so I figured that maybe he was this time. I don't think that anymore. Anyhow, difficult child was great until I said that it was nap time for everyone, since everyone (including me) was sick. He didn't like that, he started having a bad additude. Well, yesterday, I didn't just let it go or work on my nice skills... I was sick and cranky and not calm and collected. (By this time in the day he hadn't shown he was sick and I realized that he'd played me earlier so I would baby him all day, which I did, up until this point.)
Then comes the refusing to go to his room, the bullying, whining, screaming and melt down. I was NOT in any condition to deal with this all day long, which usually happens when husband isn't home. I called husband and told him he would need to come and get difficult child and take him to school. difficult child freaked at that. The melt down wasn't what has me bothered, though. It was when I noticed red marks on his chest and asked him how they got there. (I knew that he had done it in his melt down somehow, and that they would fade, nothing serious, but I wanted him to realize they were there. The other day during a rage he came out of his bedroom and his lip was bleeding, he had no idea how, but he is hurting himself when he's in these rages and I want him aware of it. Anyhow, he didn't know where the red marks had come from, he said. I told him he'd done it somehow while he was raging. So, about 20 minutes later, he is sitting on the couch, bullying in effect. He says, in a very nasty voice, that "I'm going to tell my Mom that you gave me those red marks.". !!!! He knew he was making it up. When I was telling husband this on the phone, the red marks had already faded, but difficult child stands up and starts scratching at his chest and arms as hard as he could (bites his nails, so no marks except the red marks he left on his skin).
Then, later, after the therapist left (it was his appointment day and we had him come to the house instead of school so that we could discuss the events of the day) difficult child started up again right away. husband ended up spanking his butt. Afterwards, difficult child told husband that "I'm going to tell my Mom you slapped me!".
Short backstory: His bioMom had not much to do with him till he was about 6.5 yrs old, shes an ex? drug addict, tries to make our lives hell, now he thinks she is awesome and he wants to live with her because she's been feeding him that for 2 years (even though my thought is that she wouldn't take custody if offered). Two years ago she had him lie to the sheriff and say that I had slapped him in the face. Unfounded, thank god, but it put the fear of God into me that she could manipulate him into lying about things like that. Now I don't even TOUCH him and try to video when rages occur, but the first words out of his mouth to husband or I are "I'm telling my Mom what you did!".
difficult child has also taken to slapping himself in the face during rages in the last few months, sometimes while calling himself stupid. He looks at us defiantly while he does it, like he's punishing us. The other day he started banging his head into the wall. UGHHHHHH!
All in all, I am TERRIFIED of this new tactic he's using of lying about us hurting him! I had always feared it would come down to this, but husband never thought it would. He's still not as worried about it as I am. Plus, with him intentionally hurting himself on top of it now, I just don't know what to do! Go figure, he had a psychiatrist appointment on Monday! She did add a new medication... he will continue on the abilify but she added 5mg of buspar (anti anxiety). But I am not at these appts so I don't know that husband isn't giving her a very soft version of what is going on. He says that he told her about difficult child hitting himself, but I'm pretty sure he was lying bigtime to save face in front of the therapist.
Then comes the refusing to go to his room, the bullying, whining, screaming and melt down. I was NOT in any condition to deal with this all day long, which usually happens when husband isn't home. I called husband and told him he would need to come and get difficult child and take him to school. difficult child freaked at that. The melt down wasn't what has me bothered, though. It was when I noticed red marks on his chest and asked him how they got there. (I knew that he had done it in his melt down somehow, and that they would fade, nothing serious, but I wanted him to realize they were there. The other day during a rage he came out of his bedroom and his lip was bleeding, he had no idea how, but he is hurting himself when he's in these rages and I want him aware of it. Anyhow, he didn't know where the red marks had come from, he said. I told him he'd done it somehow while he was raging. So, about 20 minutes later, he is sitting on the couch, bullying in effect. He says, in a very nasty voice, that "I'm going to tell my Mom that you gave me those red marks.". !!!! He knew he was making it up. When I was telling husband this on the phone, the red marks had already faded, but difficult child stands up and starts scratching at his chest and arms as hard as he could (bites his nails, so no marks except the red marks he left on his skin).
Then, later, after the therapist left (it was his appointment day and we had him come to the house instead of school so that we could discuss the events of the day) difficult child started up again right away. husband ended up spanking his butt. Afterwards, difficult child told husband that "I'm going to tell my Mom you slapped me!".
Short backstory: His bioMom had not much to do with him till he was about 6.5 yrs old, shes an ex? drug addict, tries to make our lives hell, now he thinks she is awesome and he wants to live with her because she's been feeding him that for 2 years (even though my thought is that she wouldn't take custody if offered). Two years ago she had him lie to the sheriff and say that I had slapped him in the face. Unfounded, thank god, but it put the fear of God into me that she could manipulate him into lying about things like that. Now I don't even TOUCH him and try to video when rages occur, but the first words out of his mouth to husband or I are "I'm telling my Mom what you did!".
difficult child has also taken to slapping himself in the face during rages in the last few months, sometimes while calling himself stupid. He looks at us defiantly while he does it, like he's punishing us. The other day he started banging his head into the wall. UGHHHHHH!
All in all, I am TERRIFIED of this new tactic he's using of lying about us hurting him! I had always feared it would come down to this, but husband never thought it would. He's still not as worried about it as I am. Plus, with him intentionally hurting himself on top of it now, I just don't know what to do! Go figure, he had a psychiatrist appointment on Monday! She did add a new medication... he will continue on the abilify but she added 5mg of buspar (anti anxiety). But I am not at these appts so I don't know that husband isn't giving her a very soft version of what is going on. He says that he told her about difficult child hitting himself, but I'm pretty sure he was lying bigtime to save face in front of the therapist.