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Fed up and don't know what to do.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 694951" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>First of all, your son sounds like hes in a ton of a mess. For one thing, from one who experienced this, you have no idea if your son is only smoking pot. It could be worse. I thought my daughter was just smoking pot too. I was sure if it. I was way wrong and it got way worse before she finally straightened out.</p><p></p><p>Secondly, getting his girlfriend pregnant is huge. when he turns eighteen he is going to have to pay child support for that kid. I doubt he us ready to be a father, but he is going to be one. I hope his girlfriend isn't drinking or drugging while pregnant. That can cause permanent problems with this child. I assume she's not thinking of a mature couple and adoption...they dont.</p><p></p><p>Dropping out of school gives your son zilch chance for a fruitful future. Do you think he'd follow a contract? What will be his consequences if he doesnt follow your rules? Does he have a job? Does he pay for his own toys? Does he pay for whatever car he drives? Put his own gas in? Pay his share of the insurance?</p><p></p><p>My opinion is to crack the whip on him. Until he turns eighteen only provide him with essentals like nutritious food. He doesnt need a cell phone or get him one without internet. If he refuses to live up to his responsibility, you do have the option of having him leave at eighteen. You don't have to do it, but he may just vegetate if you keep providing for him. My daughter stopped drugs and all her bad behavior after we made her leave at nineteen. It broke our hearts but it worked. Nothing else did. And twelve years later she has gone to a two year college, has been in a faithful relationship without drugs for all that time and is a great mother to a great two year old...my granddaughter.</p><p></p><p>I cant recommend being soft on defiant young adults because in my opinion it backfires.</p><p></p><p>I feel really badly about this and hope there are adequate plans for the baby. Your son should step up...I don't know him. I hope he gets a full time job and tries for 50/50 custody (this is common now) for the sake of the baby, who deserves a good life. Hugs for your poor hurting heart</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 694951, member: 1550"] First of all, your son sounds like hes in a ton of a mess. For one thing, from one who experienced this, you have no idea if your son is only smoking pot. It could be worse. I thought my daughter was just smoking pot too. I was sure if it. I was way wrong and it got way worse before she finally straightened out. Secondly, getting his girlfriend pregnant is huge. when he turns eighteen he is going to have to pay child support for that kid. I doubt he us ready to be a father, but he is going to be one. I hope his girlfriend isn't drinking or drugging while pregnant. That can cause permanent problems with this child. I assume she's not thinking of a mature couple and adoption...they dont. Dropping out of school gives your son zilch chance for a fruitful future. Do you think he'd follow a contract? What will be his consequences if he doesnt follow your rules? Does he have a job? Does he pay for his own toys? Does he pay for whatever car he drives? Put his own gas in? Pay his share of the insurance? My opinion is to crack the whip on him. Until he turns eighteen only provide him with essentals like nutritious food. He doesnt need a cell phone or get him one without internet. If he refuses to live up to his responsibility, you do have the option of having him leave at eighteen. You don't have to do it, but he may just vegetate if you keep providing for him. My daughter stopped drugs and all her bad behavior after we made her leave at nineteen. It broke our hearts but it worked. Nothing else did. And twelve years later she has gone to a two year college, has been in a faithful relationship without drugs for all that time and is a great mother to a great two year old...my granddaughter. I cant recommend being soft on defiant young adults because in my opinion it backfires. I feel really badly about this and hope there are adequate plans for the baby. Your son should step up...I don't know him. I hope he gets a full time job and tries for 50/50 custody (this is common now) for the sake of the baby, who deserves a good life. Hugs for your poor hurting heart [/QUOTE]
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