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Substance Abuse
Feedback needed: My Ex-mother in law emailed me
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<blockquote data-quote="healinginside" data-source="post: 763368" data-attributes="member: 29962"><p>Leaf, </p><p></p><p>I am so lucky to have you in my life! I feel like I am being guided by the wisdom of experience for those moms that have had to walk my path. </p><p></p><p>You words cover all of the walls that I'm facing - wanting to help, especially during the holidays and knowing that I can't fix it. I have been ruminating over the last 3 months constantly and have just started to feel stronger. Instead of waiting for my son to get tired of his situation and change, I got tired of the situation and have started changes in myself. "Stella got her groove back" but then I get the email, the phone call, the text, the emergency saying, "You can't have a normal life because you have to save your son from THIS, THIS is important, THIS is important" and it feels like I get stuck on a merry go round complete with spinning headache and sick stomach and all.</p><p></p><p>I'm getting the strength to press PAUSE. All of my efforts have been futile - the money, the tears, the sleepless nights, the lectures, the rescue missions, the advice, the life coaching (I should be a certified life coach at this point). He never listens to or takes my advice. Now I have to put the distance there. </p><p></p><p>"You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm" but we do and we also feel the pain of their failure when it is against everything we taught and instilled in them.</p><p></p><p>Leaf, thank you! For taking the time to spell it out for me and getting me back on the track to self love and self respect. Know my limits and find peace in those limits. You've reminded me to find joy in the moments with my daughter. No more stolen moments. Time is not promised to anyone even the moms of troubled adult children. We deserve peace, love and respect! </p><p></p><p>I feel strong in my resolve to have boundaries. That is a big step for me. </p><p></p><p>I have to hand it over to God. It is too much for this mama to carry. </p><p></p><p>So glad I have you moms on my team <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="healinginside, post: 763368, member: 29962"] Leaf, I am so lucky to have you in my life! I feel like I am being guided by the wisdom of experience for those moms that have had to walk my path. You words cover all of the walls that I'm facing - wanting to help, especially during the holidays and knowing that I can't fix it. I have been ruminating over the last 3 months constantly and have just started to feel stronger. Instead of waiting for my son to get tired of his situation and change, I got tired of the situation and have started changes in myself. "Stella got her groove back" but then I get the email, the phone call, the text, the emergency saying, "You can't have a normal life because you have to save your son from THIS, THIS is important, THIS is important" and it feels like I get stuck on a merry go round complete with spinning headache and sick stomach and all. I'm getting the strength to press PAUSE. All of my efforts have been futile - the money, the tears, the sleepless nights, the lectures, the rescue missions, the advice, the life coaching (I should be a certified life coach at this point). He never listens to or takes my advice. Now I have to put the distance there. "You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm" but we do and we also feel the pain of their failure when it is against everything we taught and instilled in them. Leaf, thank you! For taking the time to spell it out for me and getting me back on the track to self love and self respect. Know my limits and find peace in those limits. You've reminded me to find joy in the moments with my daughter. No more stolen moments. Time is not promised to anyone even the moms of troubled adult children. We deserve peace, love and respect! I feel strong in my resolve to have boundaries. That is a big step for me. I have to hand it over to God. It is too much for this mama to carry. So glad I have you moms on my team ❤️ [/QUOTE]
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