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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724814" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have four kids. Even my one not always nice son never ever demeaned my intelligence or income level (We are not rich.) Your son is NOT in any way approaching normal behavior toward a parent. Aside from my oldest, who would never want me out of his life even though he can lose his temper, my other three adult children say "I love you" every single time we talk, which is often, and are warm and loving. They are ages 40 (oldest and sometimes not nice), 34, 24 and 21. Never a "you are no good" from any of them. The oldest namecalls when stressed but knows that if he demeans me too badly I will stop talking to him every day and he likes to talk to me. I would never put up with behavior like that from anyone, even an adult child. How dare he!</p><p></p><p>If it were me (everyone is different) I would send a bland card, no gift. How horrible for him to imply it is good and normal to cut out parents who love and give so much to their beloved children. Says much about college friends probably getting money from those parents they snub!</p><p></p><p>I adopted a child from Asia at age six and he walked away when he married. I do not consider him one of my kids anymore as he has not spoken to us in fifteen years. I'm sure he also had issues with our income status. He is quite rich and brilliant. I tell myself it happened because he wasn't six until we met him. I am sure that is partly true but it about killed me. He was much beloved, like all the kids. I had to go through groveling, begging for naught and finally grieving and now I am sorry I ever groveled. He and wife just made fun of it. So I know how hard this is. I adopted three others so it wasn't the adoption. Those three are bonded and thriving. I will always wonder and never know why this one left although strongly suspect his wife wanted him to herself. So she has him to herself...count your other loved ones as blessings, like your husband. You did nothing wrong. You loved him. </p><p></p><p>Whatever you do is okay. There is no one answer for all. I don't have the stomach for abuse of that sort, since I once had a child walk away. I would limit contact and lower expectations. Did this start in college? It's awful. My heart breaks for you. I wish he was not your only. Do you have nieces? Nephews?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724814, member: 1550"] I have four kids. Even my one not always nice son never ever demeaned my intelligence or income level (We are not rich.) Your son is NOT in any way approaching normal behavior toward a parent. Aside from my oldest, who would never want me out of his life even though he can lose his temper, my other three adult children say "I love you" every single time we talk, which is often, and are warm and loving. They are ages 40 (oldest and sometimes not nice), 34, 24 and 21. Never a "you are no good" from any of them. The oldest namecalls when stressed but knows that if he demeans me too badly I will stop talking to him every day and he likes to talk to me. I would never put up with behavior like that from anyone, even an adult child. How dare he! If it were me (everyone is different) I would send a bland card, no gift. How horrible for him to imply it is good and normal to cut out parents who love and give so much to their beloved children. Says much about college friends probably getting money from those parents they snub! I adopted a child from Asia at age six and he walked away when he married. I do not consider him one of my kids anymore as he has not spoken to us in fifteen years. I'm sure he also had issues with our income status. He is quite rich and brilliant. I tell myself it happened because he wasn't six until we met him. I am sure that is partly true but it about killed me. He was much beloved, like all the kids. I had to go through groveling, begging for naught and finally grieving and now I am sorry I ever groveled. He and wife just made fun of it. So I know how hard this is. I adopted three others so it wasn't the adoption. Those three are bonded and thriving. I will always wonder and never know why this one left although strongly suspect his wife wanted him to herself. So she has him to herself...count your other loved ones as blessings, like your husband. You did nothing wrong. You loved him. Whatever you do is okay. There is no one answer for all. I don't have the stomach for abuse of that sort, since I once had a child walk away. I would limit contact and lower expectations. Did this start in college? It's awful. My heart breaks for you. I wish he was not your only. Do you have nieces? Nephews? [/QUOTE]
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