feeding tube is out!

Jena

New Member
nope lol and i couldnt' tell her because nurse was sitting right next to her. difficult child got her chef salad from me and ate it all! than i gave her half a cookie told nurse new nurse i guess the witch left what i gave her to chart it and ill handle in a.m. with the dr. he was there when nurse and i went back and forth so he was like oh yea ok sure lol :)

i've been so lucky up till now. got them a card today and they have it in the lounge thanking them etc.
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
So what happens now? Will they start some kind of therapy to find the underlying causes that brought this on? Seems like they'll have to do something!
 

Jena

New Member
she'll go in the day treatment clinic, receive therapy, group therapy, schoolwork, yoga, coping skills class,, body image (because it's an aneroxia/bullimia unit mostly) yet i guess it can't hurt and get vitals checked each morning and 3 meals a day. yet difficult child normally has insane anxiety over school and new beginnings so i'm expecting to see the eating taper off once she starts there and a slight regress backward. yet i think i have to wait another two weeks to truly gauge ok she's done with-this problem or we need more time.

that's what i'm thinking. they aren't into the underlying cause becaues she's already has so many underlying anxiety disorders bipolar so it may be as simple as transitioning into middle school she freaked over and my wedding which rattled her.
 

Jena

New Member
we or i kinda knew something bad was going to happen she was extremely unstable. just never figured a full food shutdown like this and fact it got so bad or lasted so very long. i mean she could of literally killed herself.
 

Andy

Active Member
Fantatic news on eating.

Did witch nurse really leave her ALONE on the phone with the doctor? OMG - that should be reported - Why is there always one staff within any facility who refuses to be with the program - who refuses to use kindness and patience - who refuses to listen?

I am glad you were able to find other food for her and that she was able to work past this meal.

How old are most of the kids in the program? Just wondering because I don't think talking percentage of food to difficult child or younger kids will make any sense to them. There has got to be another way to present the goal. Maybe a divided plate with small portions in about 12 squares and say, you get to choose which 9 items you want to eat. They could be 4 of the main food and 5 of different sides.

I am glad you had an awesome day! You both needed it.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Jena, how irresponsible of the nurse. These kids have EATING DISORDERS...the food has to look fresh and tempting. I can't believe it just sat there.

I hope everything gets back on track and good for you and her for getting the salad and having her eat it :)
 

Jena

New Member
hi,

andy well one thing i've learned with-this hospitalization is to be calm, really calm, and when i have a gripe i vent my craziness on here yet i handle myself with them very matter of fact and non emotional. so throwing a fit wont' get me anywhere i'll just be viewed like "pyscho Mom" and up till now their amazed at how i'm handling this. Not that "that" matters yet it's highly important for difficult child that i remain on task, super calm, and when i have complaints to make them quietly away from difficult child so she doesnt' see me disagree with the program.

iv'e come to learn as difficult child that each nurse has their own thing, all diff. personalities. we really like most of them. so we have been lucky. yet this woman last nite is just doing it for the paycheck you could tell. i will be letting the doctor know when she gets here what really went down last night and how there seems to be a huge disconnect with the food being delivered to the rooms. as a mom in this it seems silly to try to refeed a kid like mine who hasnt' really eaten in 7 mos. a cold dish of food that has been sitting at the nurses station for 45 min.. thought should be let's make it as appealing as possible.

they dont' portion it out because they try to make it as realistic and life like as they can. so that when a kid does return home there are no well mom i dont' like this will you make me that kinda stuff going on which is in essence a kid still giving problems at dinner time.

the nurse bringing the phone in when i was gone was a definite slick move on her part. so yea i'll be sharing how Ms. thing was downstairs talking to what looked to be her boyfriend when i was at the ronald mcdonald house getting clothes out of a drier and she was difficult child's nurse. she had just gotten on also. like give me a break. we all have lives yet that is just ridiculous. this is a trauma one hospital and you don't take breaks in parking lot ten min. after shift begins.

it was just unneeded drama. im like listen i've been here 14 days by myself, alone with my kid don't mess with me lol.

age of kids well to be honest all teenagers mostly, one other kid difficult child's age. yet they all and i mean all have aneroxia and bullimia. difficult child's the only kid with food phobia going into the day program or here admitted into the hospital. so i'm sure difficult child will not mesh well in the day program.

i would like to think that the structure, therapy etc there would assist with her other issues. yet fact is she will present as she does with normal school and normal changes in her life. anxiety ridden, not adhereing, etc. so i'm going to begin getting my after care providers in line after we leave here so when i get back to new york i am not scramling on any level at all.

if i see sustained eating with-o need for liquid with every bite and no forcing meals and she's pushing for more food i'll head home. there's no point to be here than. i dont' think the fear's totally gone yet. yet difficult child gets aggrivated because she wanted to be able to have peer support yet her problems so unique that she wont' in the way in which she'd like to.

i thought at home a new therapist cbt person to help her with her anxiety issues, a new pyschiatrist she'll need also. i am giong to be in the medication game in a mos after i leave here unless i can convince them to allow me to wean down slower. we also are going to continue home schooling once back yet see if we can help difficult child connect with a few decent kids she knew prior.

it doesn't seem right after all she's been thru to throw her into school with only a handful of mos left to go i also dont' want to risk this returning
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Sorry about the nurse on duty. I know at the rehab hospital there was one who was definitely not with the program. She
was not assertive...she was aggresive! I couldn't believe the way she talked to easy child/difficult child and threatened him which I just happened to overhear when I came back from the cafeteria early and stood outside the door to let her do her job job with-o a parent overseeing. I later asked the Dr. to not have X assigned to his room. Since that was not agreed upon I stayed in his room each time she had a shift. on the other hand everyone else was satisfactory and some were awesome. I guess the law of averages pretty well assures one loser on the team.

I agree with your methods. You are being a great advocate for your difficult child. Perhaps hearng and seeing others with issues that are different but also dangerous may make your daughter feel proud of her self determination at such a young age.
I sure hope so. Hugs. DDD
 

Andy

Active Member
Yes, Calm is the word of the day! :) You have learned well on how to present issues.

I wasn't suggesting offering her a variety of foods - more like take the meal you are going to serve which includes a main entree, side dish, fruit, vegetable and letting her choice how much of each through a "chart" process.

The first few times we really don't care what she chooses so "You eat 1 portion of the main entree and 6 portions of any combination of the foods here including the main entree". She may choose 4 fruit and one vegetable and one side dish (cottage cheese, salad, ect.).

Then increase the ante "Today you eat 2 portions of the main entree and 8 portions of any combination of the foods here."

It is very normal for moms to say, "This is what we are having tonight, you have to eat atleast three bites of each" especially of new foods introduced or "You are not leaving the table until you finish your vegetable."

It is not giving her a choice of foods but is having her see how much 90% is. I know if someone told me I had to eat 90% of my meal I wouldn't know how much that was.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Looking back, its a wonder they didnt threaten me with a feeding tube because I really wasnt much into eating when I was in the hospital. In the regular hospital the food just wasnt that good. I lived on jello and diced peaches but I hardly ate any of that. I simply didnt want to eat. I wanted to drink! I was so thirsty and they wouldnt let me drink! Tony would sneak me little sips of diet coke when they werent looking or give me ice chips. I also couldnt use my arms so eating was a chore. Someone had to come feed me and I just hated the whole situation.

When in rehab the food was much better but I still didnt want to eat. They had this really killer fruit salad that I begged for every day and because I rarely ate anything else they got it for me every day...lol. About a week after I got to rehab they took me off the thickener so I could finally have regular drink and boy was I happy. I know I never ate 90% of any tray they brought me. Now sometimes the whole tray got eaten but that was because my family was there...lol. But it took me almost 3/4 of my time in rehab to be able to use my arms completely so they knew how well I was feeding myself. They knew if I could completely eat. The nurses had to come in and help me. That is just such a helpless feeling. I know how she felt about a cold tray. Its just plain yucky.
 

Jena

New Member
I don't know Andy she figured out what 90 percent was. bottomline you gotta finish almost all of it LOL. too complicated other way. i do agree with-their approach they lessen kids anxiety by stating 90 percent instead of the "infamous" eat it all. yet once these hungry starved kids start they manage to eat almost all of it. that is when the food is HOT LOL. told doctor about the charming nurse last night. she said np, i know. winds up our doctor the woman who is the partner of the woman who heads it has breast cancer. she is a breast cancer survivor. 3rd time she's had it. she is bald, wears a wig and told us today.

i went downstairs got cards for the staff here, ppl that made the difference and got apple cidar vinegar for the nurses that are sick. their all drinking it with hot water lol, and got our dr. m flowers. she runs this program is a tough has step kids has a two and a half year old at home and basically is amazing.
 

Steely

Active Member
i've come back into my center here bigtime. this trip with her, has strengthened me in a way that i didnt' think it could. i knew i was strong before yet this is something that's hard to put into words.im not a religious person, i'm more spiritual. yet i gotta tell you the truth my faith's been renewed since here. i visit the chapel almost everyday to sit quietly meditate pray etc.


.

I so completely know what you mean - you said it perfectly. I am so glad you are in that place again. I am on my way to finding it.
HUGS - and many well wishes for tomorrow with difficult child
 

Jena

New Member
hey how are you? i haven't seen you around and thanks. i'm there yet i do still complain as you can see from my posts and it takes maitenance :) i'm hoping you find your place too. (((hugs)))
 
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