difficult child has been officially doing what he needs to do for some time: going to work when scheduled (which is less than 20 hours/wk), doing his community service which he completed today, going to his last rehab counseling session. He has been clean and sober. He hasn't damaged the house or raged. He also hasn't kept his room or bathroom clean per house rules, hasn't done chores as asked (with a rare exception or two), sleeps all day, stays up all night, complains that we aren't sensitive enough to his needs i.e. total quiet all day so he can sleep, and plenty of cold cuts in the fridge; is sullen and won't respond politely to civil conversation; uses huge amounts of whatever food is his choice of the week, whether cold cut sandwiches or expensive berries for smoothies; generally lives a life apart, making it clear that he resents and despises us without getting into fights about it, and taking as much as he can get from us. I've been talking to him about making plans for June, when his probation is done and he has his license back, encouraging him to think outside the box and even consider going to northern Alberta to make good money on the pipeline, or taking an interesting sort of job somewhere else interesting. No dice. difficult child put me off at first, then said he'd like to live in Toronto (!), then said he just can't hop from job to job so leave him alone. Today as we walked in the door (I drove him home from his community service work), husband told difficult child that he is enforcing consequences for having chew in his bedroom, since we went over all that weeks ago and husband just found wads of chew staining the carpet in difficult child's room. So no laptop, no TV, no video games. Just time to sleep (difficult child says he just can't sleep and is always exhausted, therefore can't do anything we ask him to), read, and plan for his future. difficult child got me alone shortly after and told me he's moving in with a friend from work, since, he said, he was 'one second from choking the life out of husband' when husband told him we'd be enforcing consequences. I think I'm just numb to threats. At the time I just said, then move out! Get on the phone with your friend and go, just don't keep talking about how intolerable it is to live here and then keep taking everything we give you! Step up and show some integrity. Only after, when I was driving daughter to a friend's did it really hit me how awful a thing difficult child had said. When I came back it seems it had occurred to difficult child because he immediately began a typical non-apology, i.e. 'I'm sorry I said some things I didn't mean, but you have to admit you haven't kept up your end of the rules either, so it's really not fair to be hard on me' sort of carp. I looked at him and told him that terroristic threats violate his probation and if he says ANYTHING like that again I WILL violate his probation. He didn't know what that meant! Then argued that he hadn't made terroristic threats but I said, threatening to choke the life out of someone qualifies. Or we could check with the police if you want. That's all I've seen or heard of him for awhile now. I think I've become too used to the threats and violent talk. Does anyone else have their difficult children talk to them in these terms, even if about someone else?