Feel like I'm drowning in

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Seriously I've about had it! Truly don't know how much more I can take. easy child (definitely more difficult child right now) is back in a serious depression (knew I was going to jinx it when I said how good she was doing).

    difficult child is over the edge in his thinking. One example is he came home today and wanted to watch Harry Potter. easy child was watching tv in the living room (she wouldn't go to school today-due to depression therapist and I believe). I told him he could go up to our (husband's and mine) to watch. That set up a 15 minute battle on his part because he felt easy child should move. No way was I having her move just because he wanted to watch especially when we have two other tvs he could watch on.

    Later I asked him to take his evening medications (an on again battle). Comes and vomits it up-right in front of easy child. Then he is dancing around moving his hips suggestively in front of her. I put an immediate stop to it but still.

    Then he decides he wants to hand her a fork but she wants to get her own (some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) issue on her part-she likes to always check her own silverware). I'm on my way to get up and help with the situation and she hits him hard on the back of the head.

    easy child says she doesn't want to live her anymore. I can hardly blame her. I mentioned to difficult child he may need to go get some help for awhile which, of course, translated into I want him to go to juvy-don't know how he got that out of what I said. He says everyone hates him and thinks he's a bas****. He's crying and sees no fault of his own in any of this-truly he doesn't.

    On top of it all, we are probably going to end up with a snow day since we are in the middle of a blizzard warning. Oh joy to be home with both kids tomorrow.

    Luckily Thursday I have my therapist appointment. On Friday difficult child goes to respite for the weekend. On Monday he and easy child both have psychiatrist appts. I told husband if the psychiatrist asks what we think about hospitalization or anything else I'm going to say yes.

    Poor husband I think he is ready to explode as well-his blood pressure really goes up with all the stress (he is on an AD). Plus, his dad just had another toe amputated last night and hopefully they will be able to save the foot.

    I really hope hospitalization is available but I'm not sure it will be. Oh and he pulled the fire alarm at school today!!

    Thanks for listening; I know this is long. I needed to get it all out. Please keep a good thought we can make it until Monday when he has his psychiatrist appointment.
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Heck with Monday, just make it till respite!

    Hugs, and heres hoping there is school tommorrow!
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hugs. I don't know anything I could offer but sympathy.
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh good grief!!! I am not sure I could even take it until tomorrow!:sick:
    Its weird I had forgotten the day in and day out drama of having a difficult child 24/7 until I read your post. Talk about deja vu - or is it PTSD?
    Hugs & strength being sent your way. I certainly know how hard it hoovers.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Geeeeez! Quicksand and wet cement, sounds like. :( difficult child really sounds to be hypomanic right now. Sure hope the respite folks are ready for him... but then I'll bet he's good as gold there and falls apart at home like so many.

    Can easy child/difficult child 2 bump up her Zoloft at all? What does psychiatrist say about how she's feeling lately?

    As for tomorrow and the potential threat of being housebound with two difficult child's in prime form, I recommend separate rooms for everyone and something new and engaging to keep difficult child 1 occupied -- rent a movie he's never seen (a really looong one -- with multiple sequels!) or a game or... And feel free to harness his energy by letting him shovel snow!

    Hang in there -- it's getting closer to Friday every minute!
  6. jal

    jal Member

    I'm so sorry. Hugs to you. An extra one for making it through.
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator


    My heart is breaking for you. Do you think that easy child could visit family over the holidays to get a break if difficult child isn't hospitalized? Go easy on yourself.
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Do you have the entire Harry Potter DVD collection? If there is a snow day tomorrow, I would take one of the smaller rooms with a tv and DVD and pronounce it Harry Potter Day for him. Set up the room as comfy as possible - make sure he has plenty of healthy snacks. Whatever you make for lunch announce that it is __________ (a terminology from Harry Potter) (like Hagrad stew). Do you know enough about the story to make as many references as possible to everything? (Hot chocolate can be the drink they refer to)

    Or you can make a movie festival of Christmas movies or any series of shows he likes (Star Wars?).

    Hopefully that would keep him out of easy child's hair for the day. Once he is settled in, find something to do with easy child. Does she like to cook? Christmas goodies? Plan the Christmas or Christmas eve meal? Even if you do the same thing year after year, she can make the list. Make decorations for the table? If you work beside her, it would make a special time for her.

    In other words, if there is a snow day, hopefully you can find a way to divide and conquer.

    Good luck!
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    sorry it is so difficult right now. Friday is a mere two days away........

  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CM-Thanks for the hugs and good thoughts (we do have a snow day though)

    Fran-Thanks for the hugs.

    Steely-I know what you mean about making it to tomorrow. The difficult child thing sure is 24/7 (except for when he is sleeping-which is never long enough).

    Gvcmom-I know what you mean about adding in the wet cement. I was thinking last night of the sleigh the grinch has loaded with all the town's Christmas stuff and it starts to slip while he is listening to the music-that's how I feel too-like one more thing could be the tipping point. The divide and conquer is a good idea-unfortunately difficult child doesn't do well with alone time but we are working on it.

    Jal-Thanks for the hugs.

    TM-Thank you. Although easy child likes our extended family these days she doesn't want to be by anyone.

    Andy-I love the HP idea. Just last night difficult child watched the first one again and husband bought the newest one on video. Now if I could only get him to spend time by himself... I am going to try and get easy child to bake with me this weekend when difficult child is at respite and won't be interrupting.

    Sharon-Thanks for the good thoughts.

    Right now things are still peaceful-no one else is awake-it looks beautiful outside even though it is dangerous to be out. I've never seen the snow pile so high on the branches before. It really does look like a winter wonderland.
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon, you all need a break. difficult child is in a state that someone needs to step in & break this cycle of whatever is going on with him. It's not good for him or the entire family.

    Don't forget the drift idea today (see GM thread) if difficult child gets out of line.

    Wish there were someway I could make it down there to referee between easy child & difficult child.
  12. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    (((hugs))) and hopes that things get better soon...
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda-I love the snowdrift idea!! I agree that something needs to stop the cycle.

    DF-Thanks for the hugs and good thoughts.
  14. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs. Sorry you are having a rough time.

    I've never prayed for Friday AND Monday to hurry up and get here, but I am, now.
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many hugs and lots of strength to get you through.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arrrgh, Sharon, I'm so sorry!!!
    I would WALK to the therapist if it snows too much! :)

    I love your description of the snow. So peaceful.
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Shari-I don't think I've ever prayed for both at the same time before either-lol! Thanks for the prayers and hugs.

    Mary-Thanks for the hugs and the good thoughts of strength-I need strength right now.

    Terry-Thankfully I didn't have to walk! It was good to talk with her though; she really gets what we go through.
  18. ML

    ML Guest

    Just adding my support. I hope tomorrow goes smoothly.
  19. Bean

    Bean Member

    Adding my support as well. I completely know how you feel, many times over.

    My difficult child happened to be here when we had a snow day and it was a reminder of how, sadly, it is just too hard to have her here. The pacing, the whining, the bullying, swearing, inappropriate comments -- breaks my heart. But we did make it through.

    I hope you are having a better day.