feel REALLY down

[Ktllc]

I was soooooo stressed a few months back, but now I just feel down, want to be left alone. It's like I don't have time to replenish myself. difficult child is acting a little better but still very demanding. I can't stop analizing things, trying to find solution. And it is working for him, but simply draining me. I just get so upset so fast. And to top it of, husband is in the "teasing mood" and believe me: I DO NOT want to be teased or anything of that sort. I told him repeatidly, but still does it... I actually smacked him last night... my cup was so full! He left on the road (his job) and we have not said bye or talked since.
I just bought some herbs for the mood and lavender oild for the bath. I really need to snap out of that bad cycle. My parents are coming in 1 month and i cannot be in that mood when they arrive. I am going to need all the patience in the world to deal with them and difficult child.
Preschool is closed for the summer and I have the kids with me 24/7 with no break. I put them in daycare one day/week so I can catch up with work (home office), not really a break but kind of.
Just needed to vent a little... Thanks.

 

[Malika]

Sorry you're feeling down ktllc. I think outsiders simply do not understand how difficult and stressful it can be dealing with a difficult child, a child with problems. Please go gently with yourself. I don't have more advice to offer but wanted to offer some moral support. Hugs.

 

[Wiped Out]

I just get so upset so fast.

Sending gentle hugs your way. When I started to get upset so fast that for me meant it was time I needed to talk to a therapist. Also I started taking an AD. It sounds like you need time for yourself, to take care of you- "me time". I know that it is a lot easier said than done. One thing that helps me is exercise, reading is also something I do for myself. Do you get any breaks? Again gentle hugs.

 

[april1974]

Can you cancel your parents visit? If they cause more stress than they do help you out then be strong and say no to them. ((((Hugs)))

 

[Ktllc]

Thanks for your support.
Wipe out, no I really never get any break... I ask husband to keep the kids a couple of hours on the weekend so I can go grocery shopping by myself, but I know I need more. As far as talking to a therapist, well I simply don't have the money. I have a High deductible and can't squeeze that in the budget. Honestly, I need to have a talk with husband, tell him I'm struggling and he needs to releave me more when he's home. The herbs I got are supposed to work like a AD, let's see in a few days (ultimatl up to 6 weeks).
April, my parents come all the way from France and will stay 1 month... How can I tell them not to come?? They would never see us. I am going to have to start a new thread and get some practical advice o hw to deal with grand parents that just don't get it. When they first arrive, the first week is like difficult child honey moon. Then his behavior starts being affected by their lack og knowledge on how to deal with them and not backing off when I take charge of a sleepy situation. They don't even realize that difficult child is on the wrong slop and I'm working really hard to avoid a big meltdown. Then when they stay long enough (more than 2 weeks), difficult child starts to feel real confortable and focus his behavior on them (spit, hit, insult). But once again, they look at me shoked and I am constantly "saving" them or simply not translating the english bad language. FIY: difficult child never hits me, spits on me or uses bad language with me. But what do I know? I'm just abusing my child. Even if I had a better, more accurate diagnosis, I'm not sure they would listen or understand I need to take the reins when it comes to difficult child. My mom keeps on telling me the usual kids stuff "he must have a hard time adjusting to the baby" "it's hard to be a parent" "he'll grow out of it" "he is just young" and etc. GRRR I guess my post is turning into a real vent! lol
Thanks for being here guys.

 

[Malika]

ktllc, I understand your predicament with your parents insofar as I face this situation daily - comments and criticisms that my son is like he is because I am not tough enough or because he is just a "bad child", etc. And these people are your parents, who love you, so how much worse must their lack of understanding be.
I truly feel that you have to educate your parents. Try to educate your parents, even if they are resistant. You have to get them to read something, talk to someone, maybe even a professional, to get them to see that this is about something your little boy cannot "help" and you cannot help. It will take time, it will be a culture shock. But if someone in authority explains something to them, surely they will begin to accept it?
I think one of the hardest things about having to raise a difficult child with problems is that added to the stress and complicatedness of that is all the criticism, judgement and lack of understanding of others.