I need a little board strength please. Some positive ju-ju if you can. K has just started her 20 medication! Yeah what a thing to be celebrating, what a wonderful feeling as a Mom. I can make the number even higher if I add the ones we have trialed more than once... Yes I am beating myself up. I am trying to just discount the time back in Idaho. I seriously feel it all was a wash and chalk it up to a learning experience. The one psychiatrist was in the middle of being sued for a death and the other was from Walter Reed and felt all issues were behaviour based. Which we learned way too late in the game. He had K so medicated that none of the medications were ever given a chance to work. So I look at this past year as her first time for really trialing and taking medications... Clean slate. But my heart and mind still hurt and ache for what I have done to her. I need this to help her. She is actually doing pretty well right now. But she has a mood disorder and I think I am just used to her, you know? I am used to her fantasy world. I am used to her talking to her friends. I am used to her ups and downs and us not being able to be a part of the real world. Frick I don't even know what the real world is half of the time. AOG just posted about having no friends, we are having a playdate on Thursday. I am so nervous, this will be her second one. We are at the point were we have to tell this Mom. But today on the phone she made a comment about another special needs child in their class. Not too bad, it was made worse from another parent. The Mom is really nice and her Daughter is a slow reader and had bathroom issues in Kindergarten. I just hate this... K is such a nice kid, she is so sensitive. We are starting Occupational Therapist (OT) today, for her and N, they both need this really bad. 1 friend, one break on medications... I know we all want this. I guess it is a lot to ask for? I am just feeling bad today... economy, kids, husband feeling sad... I am trying to keep everyone up and it hoovers some days! No breaks.