feeling a bit hopeless today

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, May 6, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. My parents returned from Florida yesterday. I killed myself cleaning the house, despite feeling sick with a head cold, to make sure it was perfect, I re-stocked the groceries as well. Only to come home from work and see my Dad already shaking his head. There's a crack (hairline) in the new steps they had just put in last year. It is by the railings that were just added a few months ago. And of course I or difficult child's must have caused this to happen. I do not think a home freaking inspector would've noticed this 3" hairline crack, but my Dad did. I just can not win and I told him the kids use the garage door and hardly ever are on the steps. I also told him it could be settling. But alas it's all our fault and we are destroying "his" house piece by piece.

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, good grief! Odds are it is settling, or was caused by adding the new railings.

    I know it's hard not to let it get to you. husband is like that. (not that he ever lifts a finger to actually fix anything) If I let it, it would drive me insane. I choose to ignore it. If he has a problem, then it's His problem, not mine. If you're sure the kids didn't do it, then let it go. Nothing you can do about it anyway.

    Glad you got to vent though. I had to go out and sit on the porch to get away from my martyr this evening.

  3. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thank you, I think it's harder feeling unwanted here, as well as not really wanting to have to be here, but I am thankful we're able to be here. There is no way I could do this on my own, not financially or emotionally. It's just there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel with either of my difficult child'S. My Father is home on disability, which makes him need to control everything and everyone around him here at home. I love S2BX, but have accepted it is over, and I will watch him get well, go forward without me, meet and fall in love with someone new and live happily ever after. All while I am here trying to keep difficult child's from destroying each other, themselves or someone else, all by myself, alone.:sad-very:

    "Gone is youth and beauty, and gone are my dreams of happily ever after"
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sorry he is such a controlling person :( Imagine how miserable life must be for someone who has that need -- because of course, you can't control much of anything, really. Except yourself. Take a deep breath and say the Serenity Prayer three times :D
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ditto. He is controlling. I kind of recall that you've tried to talk to him in the past and it's been useless.
    I am so sorry. You just have to train yourself to let it go in one ear and out the other. (Easier said than done, I know!)
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Let it go. Go for a walk, whatever to get away from it. Controlling people just want a battle. It could be about nothing important, they just want to fight. Don't give into the fight.

    Star gave me a great idea about the 'mean' woman who comes in my store every day. She told me to f off when I asked her how her day was. Not once, but twice. Today, I picked a beautiful rose and kept it at my station. When she came in, I didn't make eye contact, but waited until she turned her head from me. Then, I placed the rose in her cart. As I returned to my station, I saw her turn around and look at me. No words...no fight. Maybe it might lighten her heart a bit more.

  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry that you're stuck in this situation. It's so hard when you feel you have to tiptoe around, you're trying your best to help and not to be obtrusive, and still you get blamed for things. Not fun at all.

    Please don't let yourself go down this road. Chances are that the same behaviour that landed your s2bx where he is, will result in the failure of any future relationship he enters into. You will not have to watch him live happily ever after. More likely, you will watch him implode as he continues to make bad choices.

    Hugs for your hurting mommy heart AND your hurting daughter heart.
  8. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    You are a good, kind thoughtful person doing the best you can. Don't let him get you down.
  9. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thank you all, I am just having "what about me? it isn't fair" weeks. If it's not a crack in the steps it will be a microscopic scuff in the cabinet or a crumb on the floor. I am not even allowed to use the grill or run the dishwasher without his permission (I am 36)! Oh well difficult child II is in the back yard ripping up all my Dad's rail road ties I'd better go and try to stop him wish me luck!
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending lots of hugs for you...
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Photo shop a picture of your er...his front yard with a HUGE sink hole in it, print it out and send it to him with a note saying:

    DAD - remember that 3" hairline crack in the steps? Well I don't think that's going to be your main issue for YOUR house anymore. I bet this is from me cleaning out the gutters on the garage. What do YOU think?

    Yeah - that should do it.
  12. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member