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Substance Abuse
Feeling Anxious and Alone
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 642498" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I have to agree - 90 days is not long enough to see if someone is leading a sober life. Maybe if you tell husband that you think giving the money to her would be hurting her more than helping her he would understand. I also agree sober or not difficult child is trying to pull the two of you (husband and you) apart by playing games and he should be standing up for you. She is already dividing the two of you by not talking to you, not having to apologize for her past behaviors (part of true sobriety by the way) and the two of them having discussions behind your back. </p><p>What you need to do about it is up to you but I am in agreement that at least you need to get into to therapy. At one time my husband and I were having communication problems and husband refused to go to therapy but I went anyway. In therapy I learned coping kills for dealing with things I didn't always agree with. (he would have 5 year old type temper tantrums LOL) He still has them to this day, but I have learned to just walk away and go do something pleasant for myself until he cools down - and he does cool down & much faster since we quit fighting about it. (My friends had a good laugh when they saw me purchasing a pin that said "I am 5 years old today", said we all needed one for husband's some days!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 642498, member: 18366"] I have to agree - 90 days is not long enough to see if someone is leading a sober life. Maybe if you tell husband that you think giving the money to her would be hurting her more than helping her he would understand. I also agree sober or not difficult child is trying to pull the two of you (husband and you) apart by playing games and he should be standing up for you. She is already dividing the two of you by not talking to you, not having to apologize for her past behaviors (part of true sobriety by the way) and the two of them having discussions behind your back. What you need to do about it is up to you but I am in agreement that at least you need to get into to therapy. At one time my husband and I were having communication problems and husband refused to go to therapy but I went anyway. In therapy I learned coping kills for dealing with things I didn't always agree with. (he would have 5 year old type temper tantrums LOL) He still has them to this day, but I have learned to just walk away and go do something pleasant for myself until he cools down - and he does cool down & much faster since we quit fighting about it. (My friends had a good laugh when they saw me purchasing a pin that said "I am 5 years old today", said we all needed one for husband's some days!) [/QUOTE]
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