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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 685370" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Women especially have a hard time with kicking our DCs with no plan in place. Mothers and sons are the toughest combination and it sounds like his stepmom has a tender heart. Of course that is a great quality but often is not helpful as we try to change the course of things for the better. Women especially have a hard time unhooking our emotions from the situation. We have to become less emotional and most importantly...change our thinking...rein in our emotions and stop reacting to our DCs. It is really hard to do because it goes against our own basic and real instincts and it goes against culture. </p><p></p><p>Please also know this: you can always change your mind as situations change. Take it as it comes and one day at a time. As things happen, work as best you can to wait...take some time...give him a chance to find his own solutions...that is a pathway toward him becoming more self sufficient over time. Let him make his own decisions no matter how much you don't like them. Also stop the flow of money to him. </p><p></p><p>Again these things are very hard to do and he will go after the softer person which is exactly what he is doing my contacting your wife. This is very typical. </p><p></p><p>You have taken a very big step here so work hard to let it play out. This is the first giant step for change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 685370, member: 17542"] Women especially have a hard time with kicking our DCs with no plan in place. Mothers and sons are the toughest combination and it sounds like his stepmom has a tender heart. Of course that is a great quality but often is not helpful as we try to change the course of things for the better. Women especially have a hard time unhooking our emotions from the situation. We have to become less emotional and most importantly...change our thinking...rein in our emotions and stop reacting to our DCs. It is really hard to do because it goes against our own basic and real instincts and it goes against culture. Please also know this: you can always change your mind as situations change. Take it as it comes and one day at a time. As things happen, work as best you can to wait...take some time...give him a chance to find his own solutions...that is a pathway toward him becoming more self sufficient over time. Let him make his own decisions no matter how much you don't like them. Also stop the flow of money to him. Again these things are very hard to do and he will go after the softer person which is exactly what he is doing my contacting your wife. This is very typical. You have taken a very big step here so work hard to let it play out. This is the first giant step for change. [/QUOTE]
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