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Substance Abuse
Feeling down.....
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<blockquote data-quote="ColleenB" data-source="post: 683717" data-attributes="member: 19887"><p>Thank you all for your encouraging words.... It means a lot to me right now, as I don't want to constantly burden those around me when I just need to hear some encouragement from someone....</p><p></p><p>My husband and i went out to dinner tonight and had a very good talk. I think we are both on the same page at this point about what we are willing to live with and what we aren't. We will let him live with us under two conditions.... No drugs and we no longer pay any tuition. We are done with paying for school.</p><p></p><p>We will be very clear with our expectations and consequences. It's up to him.</p><p></p><p>Husband wants me to plan on us doing something this summer for ourselves to get away, and try to focus on the benefits of having grown children, in that we have the freedom now.</p><p></p><p>I feel a bit better thinking we both want to look to the future instead of always focussing on our son.</p><p></p><p>Our younger son is having a hard time too, he dropped down to three courses and I think it was the stress of the year, and being in those classes with his brother may have played a part in that. I was constantly asking him if his brother went to class etc..... I know it wasn't his job to keep tabs on him. That isn't fair. When we found out this week he had dropped them without telling us, we were upset, but now I am seeing that it was more than just being "lazy". He is being affected too.</p><p></p><p>We are going to be clear with both boys our expectations and what we will give them in terms of support. Without anger, just being clear and consistent. I love my boys, and am hoping they both rise to the occasion..... They have been give all the tools they need.</p><p></p><p>Our older son does need to deal with his addiction, but we can't force it, it's his job. We have to learn to give him some space. We have both been so worried that we have smothered him at times.... Taking away his autonomy....</p><p></p><p>We are slow learners, and we will probably continue to stumble, but st least we are on the same page .</p><p></p><p>Again... Thank you to each of you. You have no idea how much I need this place and how each of your words do give me hope and strength.</p><p></p><p><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ColleenB, post: 683717, member: 19887"] Thank you all for your encouraging words.... It means a lot to me right now, as I don't want to constantly burden those around me when I just need to hear some encouragement from someone.... My husband and i went out to dinner tonight and had a very good talk. I think we are both on the same page at this point about what we are willing to live with and what we aren't. We will let him live with us under two conditions.... No drugs and we no longer pay any tuition. We are done with paying for school. We will be very clear with our expectations and consequences. It's up to him. Husband wants me to plan on us doing something this summer for ourselves to get away, and try to focus on the benefits of having grown children, in that we have the freedom now. I feel a bit better thinking we both want to look to the future instead of always focussing on our son. Our younger son is having a hard time too, he dropped down to three courses and I think it was the stress of the year, and being in those classes with his brother may have played a part in that. I was constantly asking him if his brother went to class etc..... I know it wasn't his job to keep tabs on him. That isn't fair. When we found out this week he had dropped them without telling us, we were upset, but now I am seeing that it was more than just being "lazy". He is being affected too. We are going to be clear with both boys our expectations and what we will give them in terms of support. Without anger, just being clear and consistent. I love my boys, and am hoping they both rise to the occasion..... They have been give all the tools they need. Our older son does need to deal with his addiction, but we can't force it, it's his job. We have to learn to give him some space. We have both been so worried that we have smothered him at times.... Taking away his autonomy.... We are slow learners, and we will probably continue to stumble, but st least we are on the same page . Again... Thank you to each of you. You have no idea how much I need this place and how each of your words do give me hope and strength. ❤️ [/QUOTE]
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