I am so glad I came upon this site. My 24 year old son who is addicted to alcohol and drugs is now in jail for a probation violation. I too have heath problems dealing with his addiction for 5 years now. I have put $ on his books and spend $300 already doing this since he has been in jail for 18 days waiting for his court date.... which isn’t for another 18 days. He calls daily making me feel so bad for him that I cry everyday (especially today on Christmas) and wanting me to bail him out. Thanks to this site I feel empowered to NOT bail him out. I would only be doing him an injustice for his actions and consequences he has created. We have helped him so much by allowing him to live with us after college, financial support and always being there for him.... which hasn’t helped at all. He still ONLY thinks of himself and has the poor me attitude! I need to start thinking of me, my husband and other son and start putting our feelings first. This has caused a huge strain on my marriage. I think about his problems day and night and I can’t keep living this way. He needs to face his choices and consequences or he will never learn! Thank you for all the great advice reading all the comments!