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Feeling hopeless....
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 623355" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Hi JustaMom,</p><p></p><p>Wanted you to know that I read your post and to assure you that wiser ones than I will be along.</p><p></p><p>I can tell you that my difficult child (32yo now) started such accusations at about age 17. Although husband and I knew they were unfounded, we did feel guilt---what did difficult child feel that we were not understanding? Stuff like that. difficult child got a lot of mileage with such accusations, from other family members as well as his parents. Looking back, i'd say do NOT validate this <strong>"crutch" </strong>because she will continue to build on this, if folks buy into it, until it is huge and ten years later she still may not be standing on her own. Our difficult child is not and the blame is much, much crueler these days....and difficult for us to even understand its basis.</p><p></p><p>We love our kids so much. Sometimes, we think we are helping when we are really hurting them.</p><p></p><p><em>If, husband and i had known then what we know now....</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 623355, member: 17635"] Hi JustaMom, Wanted you to know that I read your post and to assure you that wiser ones than I will be along. I can tell you that my difficult child (32yo now) started such accusations at about age 17. Although husband and I knew they were unfounded, we did feel guilt---what did difficult child feel that we were not understanding? Stuff like that. difficult child got a lot of mileage with such accusations, from other family members as well as his parents. Looking back, i'd say do NOT validate this [B]"crutch" [/B]because she will continue to build on this, if folks buy into it, until it is huge and ten years later she still may not be standing on her own. Our difficult child is not and the blame is much, much crueler these days....and difficult for us to even understand its basis. We love our kids so much. Sometimes, we think we are helping when we are really hurting them. [I]If, husband and i had known then what we know now....[/I] [/QUOTE]
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