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Feeling hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 639398" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>JKF, I am so sorry. I understand the panic. And, sometimes our tools just don't work to quell the fear. </p><p></p><p>It is a scary, awful thing to observe a loved one slide out of reality into their own abyss and to really understand that there is nothing you can do to help or prevent whatever will happen. It is a helpless, powerless feeling we humans don't fare well in. Powerlessness is what we feel when we feel we have no control. The truth is that we never have any control, we just think we do. Something like what you're describing brings that recognition right up front and personal. And it scares us.</p><p></p><p>The only way I can move through the kind of fear you are feeling is to make every attempt to calm my own thoughts from going haywire with what ifs. The way I do that is to focus on this moment, not the future, which hasn't arrived yet and we can't predict, not the past with all of it's pitfalls which are now over and done with.........but right now. Practice slow, deep breathing while you try to focus on your body........try to feel your body, your hands, your feet, try to feel the energy in them............that can allow you to slip out of your fear thoughts and loosen the grip the fear has on you. If you do that, you'll feel tingling in your hands........focus on that. As you do that, the thoughts will begin to dissipate. Breathe deeply. You may have to continue doing that over and over for a little while, but eventually, it works. The fear is in your thoughts now, nothing has happened. You were given information which scared you. Now your own thoughts are scaring you. Nothing has happened. Stay focused on the moment. </p><p></p><p>If something does happen, you will deal with it THEN. And, nothing may happen. So, do your best to stay in the present moment and breathe.........</p><p></p><p>Saying a prayer for you........sending warm hugs for your wounded heart..............as others come along, they will send their wishes and prayers too............you're going to be fine...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 639398, member: 13542"] JKF, I am so sorry. I understand the panic. And, sometimes our tools just don't work to quell the fear. It is a scary, awful thing to observe a loved one slide out of reality into their own abyss and to really understand that there is nothing you can do to help or prevent whatever will happen. It is a helpless, powerless feeling we humans don't fare well in. Powerlessness is what we feel when we feel we have no control. The truth is that we never have any control, we just think we do. Something like what you're describing brings that recognition right up front and personal. And it scares us. The only way I can move through the kind of fear you are feeling is to make every attempt to calm my own thoughts from going haywire with what ifs. The way I do that is to focus on this moment, not the future, which hasn't arrived yet and we can't predict, not the past with all of it's pitfalls which are now over and done with.........but right now. Practice slow, deep breathing while you try to focus on your body........try to feel your body, your hands, your feet, try to feel the energy in them............that can allow you to slip out of your fear thoughts and loosen the grip the fear has on you. If you do that, you'll feel tingling in your hands........focus on that. As you do that, the thoughts will begin to dissipate. Breathe deeply. You may have to continue doing that over and over for a little while, but eventually, it works. The fear is in your thoughts now, nothing has happened. You were given information which scared you. Now your own thoughts are scaring you. Nothing has happened. Stay focused on the moment. If something does happen, you will deal with it THEN. And, nothing may happen. So, do your best to stay in the present moment and breathe......... Saying a prayer for you........sending warm hugs for your wounded heart..............as others come along, they will send their wishes and prayers too............you're going to be fine........... [/QUOTE]
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