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feeling I am to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="Desperately Sad" data-source="post: 645377" data-attributes="member: 18614"><p>Hi,</p><p>I guess I am feeling a little sorry for myself, please excuse me.</p><p>Just wondered if anyone else ever beats themselves up feeling that the way their difficult child turned out was all their fault? I feel so guilty, and responsible for how things have turned out. At the time I really thought that everything I did was right and that I was being the best mum I could be....by doing more and more for him to make him happy. Now I realise that I have done too much for him and he is having trouble standing on his own two feet. I think that is why he is depressed because I have never taught him to cope, I have always been his safety net and caught him before he fell.. I now realise that he needed to learn to fall in order to cope, and learn.</p><p>Where as My sister, who has always put herself first before her kids, regularly left them alone from an early age to pursue her own enjoyment. In my mind I aways thought she was selfish and I was doing a better job... Now her 3 sons have grown into independent, decent, capable adults who cook coffee cake and make risotto, where as my son can't even make his own bed!!! I feel like a fool who has really messed things up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Desperately Sad, post: 645377, member: 18614"] Hi, I guess I am feeling a little sorry for myself, please excuse me. Just wondered if anyone else ever beats themselves up feeling that the way their difficult child turned out was all their fault? I feel so guilty, and responsible for how things have turned out. At the time I really thought that everything I did was right and that I was being the best mum I could be....by doing more and more for him to make him happy. Now I realise that I have done too much for him and he is having trouble standing on his own two feet. I think that is why he is depressed because I have never taught him to cope, I have always been his safety net and caught him before he fell.. I now realise that he needed to learn to fall in order to cope, and learn. Where as My sister, who has always put herself first before her kids, regularly left them alone from an early age to pursue her own enjoyment. In my mind I aways thought she was selfish and I was doing a better job... Now her 3 sons have grown into independent, decent, capable adults who cook coffee cake and make risotto, where as my son can't even make his own bed!!! I feel like a fool who has really messed things up. [/QUOTE]
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