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Feeling like a bit of a failure
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649979" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>CG, I have had that problem and it took me all these years to figure it out and it was my therapist who pointed the obvious out to me. Maybe it's the same with you.</p><p></p><p>If we pick dysfunctional people as friends, they will not be reliable as friends. Yes, you and I have mood disorders, but we are still reliable. Most people with mood disorders are all over the charts. If they are recovering addicts, they could be dry drunks. Not saying they are, but could be. If they are argumentative, they are going to get miffed if you disagree with them. The guy who blocked you for no reason you can think of could have borderline personality disorder...they are famous for that.</p><p></p><p>I have learned to only allow stable people into my life, even if that makes my circle small. I don't like drama. I don't like backbiting. I prefer a few people who are trustworthy to people who can turn on a dime. Most of my life I befriended those who would turn on a dime. My family would turn on a dime (family of origin). Oh, well. I just refused to find stable people to hang with as I felt they were boring. What does that say about me?</p><p></p><p>These days I count my blessings that I have my husband and kids. I have acquaintances I can talk to if I like, but I don't care if I get close to others anymore. They have to be quality people.</p><p></p><p>My sissy, whom is a good one for leaving people, got left and defriended by one of her friends of many years and a whole slew of people followed this first leaver. She was devestated that all these people were defriending her. I don't know the end of the story because she then turned about and left ME again and I had warned her that if she ever did that again, we were done. So I don't know if the drama is on again and I don't care.</p><p></p><p>CG, keep being a good person. Just be careful about who you get close to. Choose stable people or expect them to be...well...unstable!!!!! You ARE a good person. It's not you. It's not me. It was our choices. You knew your boyfriend was a problem before he moved in but your good heart wanted to give him a chance. Again, it is not you. It is him and his probable inability to sustain over the long term. Personally, I think you are TOO GOOD for those people, not the other way around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649979, member: 1550"] CG, I have had that problem and it took me all these years to figure it out and it was my therapist who pointed the obvious out to me. Maybe it's the same with you. If we pick dysfunctional people as friends, they will not be reliable as friends. Yes, you and I have mood disorders, but we are still reliable. Most people with mood disorders are all over the charts. If they are recovering addicts, they could be dry drunks. Not saying they are, but could be. If they are argumentative, they are going to get miffed if you disagree with them. The guy who blocked you for no reason you can think of could have borderline personality disorder...they are famous for that. I have learned to only allow stable people into my life, even if that makes my circle small. I don't like drama. I don't like backbiting. I prefer a few people who are trustworthy to people who can turn on a dime. Most of my life I befriended those who would turn on a dime. My family would turn on a dime (family of origin). Oh, well. I just refused to find stable people to hang with as I felt they were boring. What does that say about me? These days I count my blessings that I have my husband and kids. I have acquaintances I can talk to if I like, but I don't care if I get close to others anymore. They have to be quality people. My sissy, whom is a good one for leaving people, got left and defriended by one of her friends of many years and a whole slew of people followed this first leaver. She was devestated that all these people were defriending her. I don't know the end of the story because she then turned about and left ME again and I had warned her that if she ever did that again, we were done. So I don't know if the drama is on again and I don't care. CG, keep being a good person. Just be careful about who you get close to. Choose stable people or expect them to be...well...unstable!!!!! You ARE a good person. It's not you. It's not me. It was our choices. You knew your boyfriend was a problem before he moved in but your good heart wanted to give him a chance. Again, it is not you. It is him and his probable inability to sustain over the long term. Personally, I think you are TOO GOOD for those people, not the other way around. [/QUOTE]
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