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Feeling like a bit of a failure
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 650035" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>You know, this is my first thought when you mention the boyfriend. I don't see what you are getting from this. I can tell you with absolute certainty, it is better to be alone than it is to be with the wrong person. If they don't make you feel good about yourself - they are the wrong person. Been there - married that. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p><p> </p><p>People do bad things to other people. I can't say it hasn't happened to me. Even friends. The woman who introduced me to Jabber, my closest friend for 10 years, who babysat my son and was my maid of honor - stole my identity to get a credit card she maxed and stuck me with the payments on a car I cosigned. I had to file a police report to keep from paying the $7000 bill and it broke my heart. She never even apologized. Her daughter, years later, who I'd known since she was 7, I let move into my home until I could afford to get her on a flight to go live with my EX-friend - stole me blind and then after she was arrested (on other charges) had the nerve to try to trick me into posting her $30,000 bail!</p><p> </p><p>My other wedding attendant (to Jabber) halfway thru the wedding decided we weren't really that close. She did the wedding...but afterwards? We're facebook friends. That's how close we are. I can't remember the last time we had a personal conversation. We say "hi" if we see each other. That's about it.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>There are many, many people I have been close to in my life that have just kind of disappeared. Life gets in the way and suddenly the people who you thought would be with you in your old age just aren't there anymore. Sometimes you just fall out of touch. Sometimes you have a falling out and even if you make up...it's never the same. In my 51 years I've determined that - that's life. People grow and change and come and go and every life touches so many others, but very few are permanent. It doesn't say anything BAD about you. It doesn't even say anything bad about them. It is just how it is.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>And now I'm back to where I started.</p><p> </p><p>You sound very much like my oldest friend. We've known each other since kindergarten, 46 years this year. Virtually every man she's dated cheated, including one of her three husbands. She's actually married now...to a very nice man...but that's only been in the last 5 years at the age of 46. She's never had kids. She has cats. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> We used to fight - WOW did we ever fight - over her self-esteem issues. Because she kept picking these same jerks and she would get drunk and cry about how she wasn't good enough. It made me want to smack her!</p><p> </p><p>And...I mean this in the nicest possible way... it kinda makes me want to smack YOU. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/fishbashsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":fishbashsmile:" title="fishbashsmile :fishbashsmile:" data-shortname=":fishbashsmile:" /></p><p> </p><p>Because YOU are SO good enough! If there's anything wrong with YOU it's that you are letting yourself down! Why are you sitting around waiting for this guy to break up with you? So you can feel bad about him not wanting you? How about you stand up and say, "I'm an incredibly sweet person with a big heart! I deserve love. I deserve passion. I deserve BETTER than this!" Because you do! Everyone does!</p><p> </p><p>Quit looking at yourself as a reflection of how other people treat you! How people treat you says more about them than it does about YOU! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 650035, member: 17309"] You know, this is my first thought when you mention the boyfriend. I don't see what you are getting from this. I can tell you with absolute certainty, it is better to be alone than it is to be with the wrong person. If they don't make you feel good about yourself - they are the wrong person. Been there - married that. :rolleyes: People do bad things to other people. I can't say it hasn't happened to me. Even friends. The woman who introduced me to Jabber, my closest friend for 10 years, who babysat my son and was my maid of honor - stole my identity to get a credit card she maxed and stuck me with the payments on a car I cosigned. I had to file a police report to keep from paying the $7000 bill and it broke my heart. She never even apologized. Her daughter, years later, who I'd known since she was 7, I let move into my home until I could afford to get her on a flight to go live with my EX-friend - stole me blind and then after she was arrested (on other charges) had the nerve to try to trick me into posting her $30,000 bail! My other wedding attendant (to Jabber) halfway thru the wedding decided we weren't really that close. She did the wedding...but afterwards? We're facebook friends. That's how close we are. I can't remember the last time we had a personal conversation. We say "hi" if we see each other. That's about it. There are many, many people I have been close to in my life that have just kind of disappeared. Life gets in the way and suddenly the people who you thought would be with you in your old age just aren't there anymore. Sometimes you just fall out of touch. Sometimes you have a falling out and even if you make up...it's never the same. In my 51 years I've determined that - that's life. People grow and change and come and go and every life touches so many others, but very few are permanent. It doesn't say anything BAD about you. It doesn't even say anything bad about them. It is just how it is. And now I'm back to where I started. You sound very much like my oldest friend. We've known each other since kindergarten, 46 years this year. Virtually every man she's dated cheated, including one of her three husbands. She's actually married now...to a very nice man...but that's only been in the last 5 years at the age of 46. She's never had kids. She has cats. :) We used to fight - WOW did we ever fight - over her self-esteem issues. Because she kept picking these same jerks and she would get drunk and cry about how she wasn't good enough. It made me want to smack her! And...I mean this in the nicest possible way... it kinda makes me want to smack YOU. :fishbashsmile: Because YOU are SO good enough! If there's anything wrong with YOU it's that you are letting yourself down! Why are you sitting around waiting for this guy to break up with you? So you can feel bad about him not wanting you? How about you stand up and say, "I'm an incredibly sweet person with a big heart! I deserve love. I deserve passion. I deserve BETTER than this!" Because you do! Everyone does! Quit looking at yourself as a reflection of how other people treat you! How people treat you says more about them than it does about YOU! :hugs: [/QUOTE]
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