Feeling like a heel!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Tiapet, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I've been so stressed lately and so much had been going on and needing to be done. Between SO and the job situation, I didn't post again but that job he got, yeah well they sent him to orientation with everyone else that was starting on a Wednesday. That Friday morning after he gets a call from the recruiter with a "heads up" that the company had a resource allocation meeting and the funding for the position is in jeopardy and it looks like he won't have a job but he'll call him later in the afternoon and let him know. At 4:45p no call had come in so I told him that it was late on a Friday afternoon he better call someone and find out what is going on so he knew if he should show up on Monday morning to start or not. He couldn't reach any of the 3 people he could speak with about it but left messages. FINALLY, someone calls him back. Nope, funding IS pulled and NO job for him! :( GREAT!!!! Back to square one of no job. They said on Monday they were going to "try" and get funding from some other projects pulled together and get him in as they really wanted him but they didn't know if they could do it. Monday rolls around and the word is they still can't do it but perhaps by weeks end they "might" be able to bring him on temporarily for 2-3 months and "if" something comes up after that they could keep him. Didn't happen.

    In the mean time, he had heard word that his old company had his old position back open and he could have applied to that position so he WAS going to put in his name but didn't because they had HIRED him. So when all this went down he thought he could go back there and still do so because it is a very skill specific position not easily filled. NOPE! By the time all this took place they actually HAD filled the position too. So he basically lost 2 positions now.

    Another recruiter he had worked with a year ago and was sent out to an interview to a company and we thought he was going to get the job (by a hair they hired someone else) on had also contacted him but he was "hired" by the company above so he told them no as well. He did go back and contact this recruiter in hopes that position was still open. Turns out it WAS still open. :) The person they had hired couldn't sell their house up in Richmond, VA so they were returning now a year later (at least that is the story that's being said- I don't care what the reason as long as the position was still open and we know they DID like and want SO). He went to the interview yesterday. It was a 4 1/2 hour interview! (1 1/2 hours away) It went extremely well. Not that I didn't expect it to go well as they liked him before, why wouldn't they like him now? In fact they found out more about him and that he has even more skills and knowledge then they knew/found out about last time. The plus side is one of the major players in the IT department is retiring at the end of the year which means that SO stands a good chance, if hired, of moving into that position. It all looks really good at this point but we won't know anything more until Tuesday afternoon after their meeting. They have 2 more to interview on Monday as well.

    The other stress is also the foreclosure of this property due to owners lack of payment. So far he has been able to stall it month after month from the original foreclosure date (which was March). This month he apparently wasn't able to any more and it DID actually foreclose now on the 10th so now we know we DO have to get out (thankfully we were able to make if to difficult child's graduation, which was all we really wanted to do but also due to job situation- here you can't rent unless you have proof of job). So we have a critical situation of needing to be out but no where, not knowing where to go (and not able to lock into year lease) with SO not having a job yet again. The stress of having to pack up everything all over again after just moving here 3 1/2 years ago and now having more stuff then we came down here with (furniture and more - though we've been cleaning out and freecycling stuff). SO has severe ADHD and procrastinates terribly on doing anything always and this is no exception but he's also torn between having to look for work and doing resumes/applications and packing as I can't physically do anything much at all so he has to do it all by himself and oldest difficult child is basically become useless. She is stuck on "summer" mode and thinking about herself and what is going on in her life (more on that in a minute).

    More stress as oldest difficult child's graduation was coming and is now over but now we have to take her to her college (4 hours away) for orientation which is a 2 day event where she must actually stay on campus in dorm by herself during this time to participate. So we have to make that journey which requires basically 4 days between going, waiting and coming home and then taking the other 2 difficult children with us. The stress of THAT trip alone (as you all know taking difficult children on trips is NO picnic at all!). We're about to make that journey today. I've been preparing for that, making the lists of what we need to get, take, pack, etc.. Knowing full well all the fighting in the car that is going to happen there and back, the noise and fighting while there, etc...

    Which brings me to the real purpose of this post. Given all this stress and so much more I've been under (which has been a lot), this morning little dude (the youngest) comes knocking at our bedroom door at 6:30A. We had only gone to bed at 3:15a after doing prep work (laundry, etc) for the trip. We were tired. It's not unusual for him to bang on the door to get us up. Why at 11 he isn't capable of occupying himself for a little bit between his video games, tv, etc.. I'm not sure. Anyway, he did so. I had already been up and was out of shower getting dressed and told him I was coming out in a few minutes after I was dressed to just chill out and wait a minute or two. He kept banging anyway, which he will do. So was still in bed which aggravates me but still, not the issue. So I go to go out the door and when I do open the door he had put a rubber band across the door knobs. We have double doors. It snapped. Not at me but still, the door resisted and I had my arms full of stuff to bring down stairs so I was aggravated. He had said he had something to show me, which he has done in the past and usually it's nothing big (a lego creation he did or something of that nature).

    He presents me this piece of paper that looked like it had brown stuff smeared all over it. He is known to get into all kinds of **** and honestly, he has a problem at times of pooping his pants. All I could imagine at that moment, stressed and aggravated about the door, was that he had smeared poop on this piece of paper and was showing me! So I said to him " what is this ***?" He immediately started crying and said "I made it for you!"

    OMG! It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was sick to my stomach and said and angry at myself and wanted to cry at that moment and couldn't and handled it wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!!!!! :( I said to him "well what do you expect? I went to open my door with my hands full and I couldn't get out because you had the rubberband across the handles and that wasn't nice." Quick save/cover but so so wrong still! You see, today is my BIRTHDAY! My dear little dude had made me a card and when I got downstairs and he actually gave it too me and I could see it in the light (it's dark upstairs in the hall) it was made with some kind of glitter glue he found on the diningroom table that middle difficult child had left out and he had taken it upon himself early this morning when he got up to make this for me! On the front it was suppose to say "MOM" (but it's not really visible and looks like there is something more), inside he also wrote in pen "I decided to make a car for you" (with a drawing of a car and his name-he always draws cars because that's one of his passions/loves). It is semi unreadable (had to ask him what "decided to make" said).

    I feel so utterly awful!!! I'm a terrible mother. How could I crush my little boys heart like this? What was I thinking? I mean I know I'm stressed but I shouldn't have done this or spoke like that. I should have realized it. Not a good start to this day at all. I need to get so much done in such a short time now before we need to leave and my heart is heavy. I hope this doesn't stick in his mind like it is mine. It's just awful.

    I haven't even had time to be here have as much as I'd like to be with all that's going on. I pop in now and then and read threads as I can but my head has just been swimming. Please take this as a mass apology to everyone and know that I AM thinking of all of you!

    Now I have to go make amends to my sweet little boy and restart this morning over!:whiteflag:
  2. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Awwww don't be too hard on yourself. Lack of sleep can effect your moods terribly. I probably would have handled things to same way. Happy Birthday !
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    Oh honey, I am terribly sorry to hear how difficult things are for your family right now. FWIW, I think you're doing a fantastic job pulling it all together despite the circumstances. We all make mistakes and I bet if you put your arms around him and apologize from your heart he will understand. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can. I really hope things turn around for you soon. Things can snowball back into place as quickly as they seemd to have spirated out of control. I'm pulling for you.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Tia -

    YOUR BIRTHDAY CARD IS IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!! JUNE 13 - I wrote it down one time and marked it on my calendar. So look for a card in the mail - don't move until you get it - lol.

    You know when Dude was little - he did the same thing as little Dude - but our precious Poopcaso decorated the walls, the tub - the well you get the idea. If I had to eliminate ONE thing? I even remember telling the psychiatrist - OKAY - you know - most parents have to deal with ADD, or ADHD, some with CD or ODD or encopresis.....not all of it together, and then DF broke his back, lost his job - was not awarded disability for 7 years, and the house we rent-to-own was foreclosed on. NO ONE could help me pack either and DF? SERIOUS BORDERLINE HOARDER.....O.M.G....then top that off with a type A boss....and you have -----you have....you have your freakin' sister that's what. lol.....me. hahahaha -OH aren't you lucky to be related to someone so wonderful? (pft)

    Sooooo I empathize, sympathize and understand your situation. As a thought. There was a severely disabled lady here that needed help moving. Her hubby was also disabled - their car broke - and she was at her witz end about life - she posted on Craigslist that she needed help packing and couldn't pay much but would offer the left-over yard sale stuff and some furniture if someone would come help her. I wrote her - just to offer to help - and she wrote me back saying she had gotten SO MANY responses - she couldn't answer them all. People WANT yard sale stuff and will help you clean out your house to get it.

    Maybe that's of some help.


    oh another post. :tongue:
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Aw giant hugs. I'm so sorry for stress and everything.

    Listen we all say the wrong things without thinking. But you can apologize and then give him a hug and let him know you will treasure his gift and then hang it on the fridge. Then let it go.

    You don't need to make excuses because honestly, they won't matter to difficult child. Better to just say sorry and let him know how special he is to you.

    Love & hugs honey