I don't speak to 35 as much as I did, but today I tried now I'm exhausted, emotionally, physically, and I actually feel sick to my stomach. He sure is a piece of work. It all started because he wanted me to go on this dating site for him and pretend to be him. Me: No, I'm not doing that. Him: Come on! I don't have Son this weekend and I don't have any plans and you can do the dating site and get me some replies. Me: Why can't you? You just said you have nothing to do. (Get out the violins) Him: I work all week and I'm so emotionally tired from work and then the custody battle. YOU can do it. YOU don't have anything to do. (CUT!) Ok, so I don't work for $$$ anymore. I have sort of retired. I don't know if it's perm or not but right now I am an d I'm having a blast, but I'm hardly sitting on my butt all day. I have tons of activities and feel like I don't have a moment to myself. I volunteer at two places and work my tail off. On top of that I write, I have drama, I go to therapy group and therapy, I go to Al-Anon (because of him) and I have been working out BIG TIME. Usually I am not home that much. And I try hard to help people. That's a big part of what I do. And I have tried hard to help HIM, but it's a waste of time. Back to the play. Him: If you aren't going to be in my corner and always be positive and help me 100%, you are useless. Thanks for nothing. (Swear words thrown in there) Me: If you don't stop disrespecting me, I'm not talking to you. I was about to hang up but he did first. I texted him a long heartfelt e-mail about how I demanded better treatment and how I want to be in his life, but won't put up with that sort of talk. If he wants to be respectful he can call me Monday. He is off my phone, per me, for two days now. He typed back, "You're terrific (sarcasm). Son will appreciate your help. I typed: "I don't even know my Grandson. You kept him from me along with your wife. If I want a grandson who I can actually interact with, Hub and I will do foster care.You kept him away from us and then took off to Missouri where we'll never be able to see him more than once every three years and you refuse to bring him to Wisconsin (on and on and on). It was the first time I reamed him a new one about how he had spent TEN YEARS with his ex allowing her to abuse us, ignoring us, and then after Grandson was born making sure that HER side of the family knew Grandson while totally ignoring the rest of us. The few times I've tried to bring it up on the phone, he says (loudly) "I don't want to talk about the past!!!! IT'S OVER!" It's not over for me. He's so shallow. I have a beautiful and very sweet from our phone talks little grandson who wouldn't recognize me if I stood in front of him. Even now my son doesn't do anything to keep us in touch. He doesn't have a webcam and doesn't like to Skype. I don't know the things that Grandson likes to do. I don't know how it feels to hug him. It makes me unbearably sad when I think about it. And it was not just his ex's fault. It was his too. Yes, Hub and I will probably do foster care because I long for a little one to love and care for and it can't be Grandson. Since I've adopted so many times, I know I could love a child not born to our DNA pool as much as one who is. I'm sure Son is livid that we are thinking of doing it. Today was the first time I told him about it...and why. I am constantly amazed at difficult child's though process. It is so abnormal. My Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son does not think as abnormally as 35. What a selfish person he is! I doubt he'd ever had started calling me if his wifey hadn't left him. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. I also managed to write that this is why his siblings don't like him because he is always so puzzled about that. Well, last week was Julie's birthday and I told him about it, but he didn't even pause or act like he heard me. On Jumper's birthday, same thing. I told him to maybe text her Happy Birthday. I don't even think he heard me. He didn't do it. I hate to say this, but I am very disappointed in this child of mine. I can not think of many good traits of his, other than he is bright and logical. He is truly one of the most selfish people on earth and it isn't drug related. Yes, he does drink and take his "prescribed" Xanax, but he was like this forever and he NEVER expresses an ounce of remorse for anything he has done to anyone in the family. It feels good that I finally told him off, but his answers to my texts were disheartening and only showed me how selfish he is. He blamed ME for everything I said. Twisted all of it. Or else he blamed me for bringing up stuff from the past that has been eating me alive. At times our relationship gets a little better and, after a blow up like this, he will attempt to be more respectful. It never lasts. This all started because I didn't want to pretend I was him and search for potential girlfriends for him on Plenty of Fish (meat market dating site). It's really comical, so why am I crying? Mostly over the grandson I will never know.