Feeling off

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by libranaster, May 15, 2008.

  1. libranaster

    libranaster New Member

    :sad-very: I am a bit bewildered at the moment because since my son's terrible behaviour has been esculating I am just feeling more and more out of sorts so to speak. Its like I used to have this wonderful bond with my children but I don't feel so loving and bonded to them anymore. I just don't want to be around them and I honestly feel like I don't want to be their mum anymore. Has anyone ever gone through this I feel terrible for feeling it. Its like I can't feel the love I have inside me for them anymore I have disconnected myself. I don't know if its the stress from my neighbour calling child protective services on me that has made me disconnect or what. I mean CPS didn't come up with anything and even sent me a letter to say their investigation was over and they found no evidence of abuse but I think it has done damage to my relationship with my kids. I think I actually blame them in a way because I can literally be on my knees scrubbing the house and then go and have rest for a couple of hours from exhausion only to find the house in complete filth again if I try to go and do something for myself. Then people tell me my house is filthy:furious:. Do they think I don't know that? I am so tired of people having an opinion of how I parent my children just because they have their perfect children and their perfect house and their perfect life so its easy for them :furious:. I don't know what to do I mean I would have to be an idiot to keep scrubbing the house only for it to end up filthy again. I just can't wait till its time for my son's asessment :sad-very:.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    It's hard enough during regular times but especially rough when you're under scrutiny like this. Do you have anyone that could pitch in and give you a hand?
  3. JulienSam

    JulienSam New Member

    I've felt something similar -- there have been days where I know I love Sam, but I really don't like him. Sometimes when things are bad it's hard to remember the bright side of having kids.

    I know it's hard for most of us to do, but make yourself ask someone for some help. Maybe someone can take the kids for a playdate for an hour or two.

    We're all really hard on ourselves as parents, and it doesn't help when other people are judging us. Sometimes I do a brief check at the end of the day when it seems like I haven't really accomplished anything:
    - Did the kids get dressed?
    - Did they eat breakfast, lunch & dinner?
    - Was anyone maimed, killed or scarred for life?

    It may not seem much to other people, but sometimes just knowing that we survived another day is a real accomplishment for those of us with difficult child's.

    you're not alone...


  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I have had so many days and weeks, months and years feeling like that. How in the world did I ever think I would be good at being a mom? Boy was I wrong! I am so bad at this.

    My cleaning lady turned me in to CPS. I know it was her because just before the visit she took me to dinner and explained how concerned she was about my easy child. No one else has ever been in our house for up to a year to that point. Her complaint? easy child's room was a mess and she had body odor.

    So, CPS come on a day when husband arrived home and was unpacking from hunting. Guess what that means? Yep, that means there are guns laying out. No ammo though. And the kids were not home.

    So, I decided to call the CPS name on card that was left. "I heard you have visited our house. What is the problem?" Messy room (I had just spent the previous week with easy child and when CPS came, her room was very spotless) and body odor. Funny nothing was said about the baby being neglected. My reply, "I have been working much longer hours than normal helping implement a computer system at work. I know my house is a mess, that is why I hired the cleaning person to clean the living room, bathroom and kitchen. And, easy child is 11 years old, of course she is going to have body ordor as her body is changing and she is learning about personal hygene. Case closed. Never heard another word. My day care provider was just horrified when she heard this happened to me. She stated I am one of the most involved parents she knows. My kids always come first - they are not neglected.

    I believe cleaning lady was very jeaous of me because of my relationship with husband. Her husband was on the road alot (like mine) but when he was home, he demanded that she and the kids be home also. She was jealous of my freedom - I do as I please - I don't need permission from a husband as she does. She had started building a support group of friends within the church so he made her change churches. She also decided to take a class on social work and thought she could "save" my easy child from a made up problem in her head.

    CPS get a lot of false reports but they have to act on each one just in case. I believe there are a lot of insecure people like cleaning lady who decide they need to save someone who doesn't need saving because they don't know the who story.

    So, you may be upset about the visit but since you know that you have done nothing wrong and it was verified by CPS (I didn't even get that) that you have done nothing wrong, please relax and pity the ignorant neighbor who leads such a sheltered life. They know nothing!!!!