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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 763702" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p><em>Not everyone has the nerves to go no contact. It is excruciating and difficult self care. I made a huge list of the things my daughter did to me and pinned that list on my refrigerator. Each time I would feel weak I read that list and told myself how much better off I was not being caught up in her never ending timeless self made drama. At night when I went to bed I told myself how much better my day was to not hear or be involved in that mindless waste of time and money. The amount of money we wasted on her BS is just horrible. I was spending a large amount of money trying to help her and all I got was kicked more and harder. I know and understand that this is an illness and I know and understand that the ill people have much more control over their behavior than we give them credit for. I have seen some bipolar/borderline people treat other people respectfully and then when they find an empath or other caring person they give them hell.</em></p><p><em>I too was stalked by my daughter. Calling my phone using other people's phones so I did not see the number come up on called ID. I did not answer the door or pick up any calls and took my voice off the answering machine. I watched one Easter as she made an Easter basket for me and left it on my front porch, I knew if I broke the 'no contact' I would be back to square one and the changes that need to happen would not happen also if the changes did not happen, I was ok with that because her behavior was causing me an early death. After she left my front door, (I peaked out through the blinds) I picked up the Easter basket and sobbed so deeply and so long, yet I knew not enough time had passed to make her change. I am crying right now just writing this. In that Easter basket she put my favorite chocolate candies. It was heartbreaking and also felt like manipulation. It had my emotions so twisted off. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Now she knew I could blow her off for my own mental health. A few months later, I received the most heartfelt apology letter, actually several of them. Even though things are somewhat better on somedays between us I am not sure that between her and anyone else things will ever be healthy. She still lies. She is almost 41 and I see some maturing here and there. The belligerence was the hardest part and she knows instinctively that I can 'blow her off' if she starts with the belligerence. It is horribly grieving being on the receiving end of a unmedicated bipolar/borderline person. </em></p><p><em>My husband and I were honestly thinking of moving away and not leaving a forwarding address. IT WAS THAT BAD.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 763702, member: 22416"] [I]Not everyone has the nerves to go no contact. It is excruciating and difficult self care. I made a huge list of the things my daughter did to me and pinned that list on my refrigerator. Each time I would feel weak I read that list and told myself how much better off I was not being caught up in her never ending timeless self made drama. At night when I went to bed I told myself how much better my day was to not hear or be involved in that mindless waste of time and money. The amount of money we wasted on her BS is just horrible. I was spending a large amount of money trying to help her and all I got was kicked more and harder. I know and understand that this is an illness and I know and understand that the ill people have much more control over their behavior than we give them credit for. I have seen some bipolar/borderline people treat other people respectfully and then when they find an empath or other caring person they give them hell. I too was stalked by my daughter. Calling my phone using other people's phones so I did not see the number come up on called ID. I did not answer the door or pick up any calls and took my voice off the answering machine. I watched one Easter as she made an Easter basket for me and left it on my front porch, I knew if I broke the 'no contact' I would be back to square one and the changes that need to happen would not happen also if the changes did not happen, I was ok with that because her behavior was causing me an early death. After she left my front door, (I peaked out through the blinds) I picked up the Easter basket and sobbed so deeply and so long, yet I knew not enough time had passed to make her change. I am crying right now just writing this. In that Easter basket she put my favorite chocolate candies. It was heartbreaking and also felt like manipulation. It had my emotions so twisted off. Now she knew I could blow her off for my own mental health. A few months later, I received the most heartfelt apology letter, actually several of them. Even though things are somewhat better on somedays between us I am not sure that between her and anyone else things will ever be healthy. She still lies. She is almost 41 and I see some maturing here and there. The belligerence was the hardest part and she knows instinctively that I can 'blow her off' if she starts with the belligerence. It is horribly grieving being on the receiving end of a unmedicated bipolar/borderline person. My husband and I were honestly thinking of moving away and not leaving a forwarding address. IT WAS THAT BAD.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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