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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678266" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yesterday M, my significant other, said something like this: It could be that when we asked things of SON, he could not do it. </p><p></p><p>Four years ago we made him leave. I had reached my limit. I said leave. He spent the night banging on the windows and lurking outside. (What kind of mother does that?)</p><p></p><p>The next night a friend brought him to the shelter. It has been downhill since.</p><p></p><p>I think I had been unrealistic for years and years. I did not want to encourage him or anybody else to think of him as limited. By my attitude did I set him up? Could be.</p><p></p><p>But on the other hand, nobody knew then and nobody knows now what will be the end result. Because the end result takes a lifetime to manifest. Not in a slice of time, is it revealed. </p><p></p><p>I was reading about Aristotle who believed that happiness came from living a virtuous life and that life was not revealed to be lived well, until the very end.</p><p></p><p>So I think we are being hard on ourselves. </p><p></p><p>It could be said that treating our kids as damaged or troubled and not insisting upon their reaching for more and standing on their two feet, itself could have created the very result that we feared.</p><p></p><p>The thing is we never know. And nobody knows. Not the psychiatrists or anybody. It can only be guessed at looking back. And even then, not until the very end. </p><p></p><p>It is the responsibility of our children to do right. What we did nor did not do is just one moment in time. They have millions and millions of moments left in their lives, G-d willing, to make it right. To live right. To live virtuous lives. </p><p></p><p>We all of us are in that same boat. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678266, member: 18958"] Yesterday M, my significant other, said something like this: It could be that when we asked things of SON, he could not do it. Four years ago we made him leave. I had reached my limit. I said leave. He spent the night banging on the windows and lurking outside. (What kind of mother does that?) The next night a friend brought him to the shelter. It has been downhill since. I think I had been unrealistic for years and years. I did not want to encourage him or anybody else to think of him as limited. By my attitude did I set him up? Could be. But on the other hand, nobody knew then and nobody knows now what will be the end result. Because the end result takes a lifetime to manifest. Not in a slice of time, is it revealed. I was reading about Aristotle who believed that happiness came from living a virtuous life and that life was not revealed to be lived well, until the very end. So I think we are being hard on ourselves. It could be said that treating our kids as damaged or troubled and not insisting upon their reaching for more and standing on their two feet, itself could have created the very result that we feared. The thing is we never know. And nobody knows. Not the psychiatrists or anybody. It can only be guessed at looking back. And even then, not until the very end. It is the responsibility of our children to do right. What we did nor did not do is just one moment in time. They have millions and millions of moments left in their lives, G-d willing, to make it right. To live right. To live virtuous lives. We all of us are in that same boat. COPA [/QUOTE]
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