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Feeling regret
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 678272" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I have regrets, tons of them. If I would had just seen, understood, done this or that. There is no denying it, I failed to protect my child as he would had deserved to be protected. </p><p></p><p>Surprisingly my kid is much more willing to forgive than I will ever be. Part of it is his immaturity, he still has that childish illusion of omnipotence and how he should had been able to deal with all that on his own. Maybe if he ever has children of his own, he will understand truly that it wasn't he who failed to protect him but me and his dad.</p><p></p><p>However failures, and regrets, are part of life. Even when they have grave consequences, we just have to live with them. For me, it helps when I do not try to rationalize them away or deny them but straightforwardly own them. I have messed up and there has been negative consequences to me and people I love and we all have to live with those consequences. But I have also done lots of good things that have good consequences to me and those I love. We live with that too. Same goes to other people ion my family. We have all both messed up at times and done very well at others, and those things have had all kinds of consequences, and that is our life and we all have to do our best with it.</p><p></p><p>While I regret my mistakes, I can't know how my life would be without them. And in my case, when one of my bigger mistakes in life has had consequences I love more than anything (Ache would not had been ever born without me messing up big time) I absolutely have to accept the things I have done wrong as integral part of my life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 678272, member: 14557"] I have regrets, tons of them. If I would had just seen, understood, done this or that. There is no denying it, I failed to protect my child as he would had deserved to be protected. Surprisingly my kid is much more willing to forgive than I will ever be. Part of it is his immaturity, he still has that childish illusion of omnipotence and how he should had been able to deal with all that on his own. Maybe if he ever has children of his own, he will understand truly that it wasn't he who failed to protect him but me and his dad. However failures, and regrets, are part of life. Even when they have grave consequences, we just have to live with them. For me, it helps when I do not try to rationalize them away or deny them but straightforwardly own them. I have messed up and there has been negative consequences to me and people I love and we all have to live with those consequences. But I have also done lots of good things that have good consequences to me and those I love. We live with that too. Same goes to other people ion my family. We have all both messed up at times and done very well at others, and those things have had all kinds of consequences, and that is our life and we all have to do our best with it. While I regret my mistakes, I can't know how my life would be without them. And in my case, when one of my bigger mistakes in life has had consequences I love more than anything (Ache would not had been ever born without me messing up big time) I absolutely have to accept the things I have done wrong as integral part of my life. [/QUOTE]
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