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Feeling sad for difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 63438"><p>difficult child would be such a loyal friend. He yearns for a one on one friend. Someone he can be close to. He has let kids pick on him, call him names, make fun of him, just so he can have a friend. More than once we were called by him to pick him up, as others were making fun of him. Yet he continued to call them his friends. I tried to explain that if they were his friends, they wouldn't do that. Seems as if they do things to try to make him upset, lose control, then sit back and watch him take the blame. Especially at school. I finally learned last year, when I would get a call from school and told what he did, or suppose to have done, my very first question was, "what happened prior to this?" When I learned what led up to the incident, I would of reacted the same way. The others, who continue to do these things to him do not get punished in anyway, however difficult child would get in school suspension for losing his temper. Even teachers would do things that would deliberatly set him off. At one point I looked at the vice principal and asked him if he would be upset if that happened to him. No response.</p><p>Today when I mentioned a kid who he claimed was his good friend, difficult child replied that he is a jerk, he always makes fun of him. difficult child always took it, because he wanted a friend so badly. It really makes me angry when kids say they will come over, ask him to come over, make plans and then disappear leaving difficult child alone. Why don't they just tell him no?</p><p>difficult child DID admit that when he was in the "IN" group, he too participated in shunning others and telling them they are not wanted there. I was not aware of that. Hopefully with what has been going on with him, he has learned to consider other's feelings before he says things like that again.</p><p>Tomorrow night he is invited to a birthday party. A girl who was on his baseball team last year. He is a little aprehensive about going, afraid he won't know anyone. But still wants to go.</p><p>He does get along so much better with kids that are older, or younger rather than kids his own age. Also gets along much better with kids when they have not been in class together, rather an aquaintence rather than someone who actually knows him.</p><p>I have talked to him twice tonight so far. Says he is enjoying himself, playing games with others.</p><p>He was disappointed when neurologist said he has not reached his growing spurt, or puberty. difficult child insists that all other boys in his grade and younger have grown and are in puberty. (that word embarrasses him and we are not allowed to use it)</p><p>My older son is fair in complection(sp?) and still at age 24 could never grow a beard or mustache. difficult child however is much darker in complection(sp?), husband is darker and hopefully difficult child won't have to wait until college to grow. (if he makes it there) That is when easy child finally grew. However easy child is husband's stepson.</p><p>I don't know what the kids say to him, he insists they tell him he is fat..I find that hard to believe. He really can be a loving kid, and would be a very loyal friend. Too bad he lets others walk all over him. He still has a lot of anger, but has been handling it much better. Gets too excited about things and that is when he starts acting goofy. When he is excited about things he tells me his heart is beating really fast. Even just watching a baseball game.</p><p>I on the other hand I have not handled my anger very well recently. Blowing up over such little things. Started HRT (patch) on Thursday. Very low dose at this time, sure hope it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 63438"] difficult child would be such a loyal friend. He yearns for a one on one friend. Someone he can be close to. He has let kids pick on him, call him names, make fun of him, just so he can have a friend. More than once we were called by him to pick him up, as others were making fun of him. Yet he continued to call them his friends. I tried to explain that if they were his friends, they wouldn't do that. Seems as if they do things to try to make him upset, lose control, then sit back and watch him take the blame. Especially at school. I finally learned last year, when I would get a call from school and told what he did, or suppose to have done, my very first question was, "what happened prior to this?" When I learned what led up to the incident, I would of reacted the same way. The others, who continue to do these things to him do not get punished in anyway, however difficult child would get in school suspension for losing his temper. Even teachers would do things that would deliberatly set him off. At one point I looked at the vice principal and asked him if he would be upset if that happened to him. No response. Today when I mentioned a kid who he claimed was his good friend, difficult child replied that he is a jerk, he always makes fun of him. difficult child always took it, because he wanted a friend so badly. It really makes me angry when kids say they will come over, ask him to come over, make plans and then disappear leaving difficult child alone. Why don't they just tell him no? difficult child DID admit that when he was in the "IN" group, he too participated in shunning others and telling them they are not wanted there. I was not aware of that. Hopefully with what has been going on with him, he has learned to consider other's feelings before he says things like that again. Tomorrow night he is invited to a birthday party. A girl who was on his baseball team last year. He is a little aprehensive about going, afraid he won't know anyone. But still wants to go. He does get along so much better with kids that are older, or younger rather than kids his own age. Also gets along much better with kids when they have not been in class together, rather an aquaintence rather than someone who actually knows him. I have talked to him twice tonight so far. Says he is enjoying himself, playing games with others. He was disappointed when neurologist said he has not reached his growing spurt, or puberty. difficult child insists that all other boys in his grade and younger have grown and are in puberty. (that word embarrasses him and we are not allowed to use it) My older son is fair in complection(sp?) and still at age 24 could never grow a beard or mustache. difficult child however is much darker in complection(sp?), husband is darker and hopefully difficult child won't have to wait until college to grow. (if he makes it there) That is when easy child finally grew. However easy child is husband's stepson. I don't know what the kids say to him, he insists they tell him he is fat..I find that hard to believe. He really can be a loving kid, and would be a very loyal friend. Too bad he lets others walk all over him. He still has a lot of anger, but has been handling it much better. Gets too excited about things and that is when he starts acting goofy. When he is excited about things he tells me his heart is beating really fast. Even just watching a baseball game. I on the other hand I have not handled my anger very well recently. Blowing up over such little things. Started HRT (patch) on Thursday. Very low dose at this time, sure hope it helps. [/QUOTE]
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