Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I am new to this site. I have a son who is 35 and has paranoid schizophrenia. He lived in his car for a year 10 years ago in a different state because I had gone into his room when he was not home due to flooding. After a year, he returned home. He told me later that " a man kept following him" up there. I got an apartment for him, but he did not charge his phone and would not let us in the gated complex. He did not go to schoo, see friends,l or work. After 4 months he came back home to live.
I have been trying in vain to get him to see a doctor for the last 9 years. I have 2 sisters with schizophrenia and am a special education teacher. I feel guilty because of my DNA, as well as, not being able to help my son while I am able to help others.
He has become increasingly more violent by threatening to kill me and destroying a lot of things. My youngest son is 23 and keeps a knife by his bed for safety. My ill son stabbed my kitchen cabinets and threw objects with such force that they would go through the vinyl flooring to the cement.
The game changer came when he had destroyed the 3rd computer. I became tighter with money and refused to go out with him until he got help. After 10 days of being firm, I said no again to going out to get fast food. He then said that he would have to break something. He started drooling, which he does when he is really psychotic. My youngest son came around the corner and gave me a look as if inquiring, "What is wrong?" I smiled and waved him off because I did not want him to get hurt. He was just leaving. I went around the corner to watch t.v. to try to diffuse the situation. He then started singing, "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". He talks to voices in his room and does not know that I can hear him through the walls. After a while of his talking to his voices I heard him say, "I don't want to kill her. She's my mother". Then he said,"Uh uh. I understand."
Three rounds of this and I ran out to my car. My son had complied with his voices in the past and my sister did when I was little. I asked for a crisis trained officer but was told that I will get who is nearest. The 3 officers had no empathy and refused to even go into the house. They said that legally they could not do anything because he had not threatened me to my face. I said that he has in the past many times. In fact I had called them 2 years ago when he had threatened to cut my face up. At that time they just told me to evict him. I begged them to help me because he had threatened to kill me several times if I call the police and he saw us out the window. They told me to get a restraining order the next day.
My youngest son and I spent 6 days in a hotel while I went to court for an emergency restraining order. I spoke with numerous agencies to try and get an involuntary trreatment in place. I was scared of my son, but also scared for my son.
While the plan was in action, I was kept down the street. My youngest son let a behavioral health worker in while 5 officers secretly took positions. The worker tried to talk to my son through his door for about 5 minutes and there was no response. Then the police grabbed him and pulled him out. He made up a lie about talking out loud when he writes and that he was only joking about killing me. Although he has not worked, gone to school, or seen friends in 9 years, they said that he was acting okay and did not qualify for hospitalization. They served him with the restraining order that had a move out order and then escorted him out of the neighborhood in his car.
I have been told by several therapists that it was a very dangerous situation and to change the locks and put in an alarm system. I am very nervous and have had nightmares. I cannot tell you how it feels to be afraid of your own son. I have read that paranoid schizophrenics who kill usually kill the mother and it is often while the mother is trying to get her son into treatment.
My heart is breaking. My son is now homeless, ill, and scared. He will not go to a shelter because he is afraid of people. I do not know where he is. I can't sleep and cry all the time. Crazy as it sounds, I drove around twice trying to find him. I know that I had to keep my 23 year old son safe, but I am going crazy with fear of my other son being hurt or killing himself. He can't come home because of the restraining order. I have been told that if I am lucky he will be arrested or brought in due to strange behavior. I need help...
I have been trying in vain to get him to see a doctor for the last 9 years. I have 2 sisters with schizophrenia and am a special education teacher. I feel guilty because of my DNA, as well as, not being able to help my son while I am able to help others.
He has become increasingly more violent by threatening to kill me and destroying a lot of things. My youngest son is 23 and keeps a knife by his bed for safety. My ill son stabbed my kitchen cabinets and threw objects with such force that they would go through the vinyl flooring to the cement.
The game changer came when he had destroyed the 3rd computer. I became tighter with money and refused to go out with him until he got help. After 10 days of being firm, I said no again to going out to get fast food. He then said that he would have to break something. He started drooling, which he does when he is really psychotic. My youngest son came around the corner and gave me a look as if inquiring, "What is wrong?" I smiled and waved him off because I did not want him to get hurt. He was just leaving. I went around the corner to watch t.v. to try to diffuse the situation. He then started singing, "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". He talks to voices in his room and does not know that I can hear him through the walls. After a while of his talking to his voices I heard him say, "I don't want to kill her. She's my mother". Then he said,"Uh uh. I understand."
Three rounds of this and I ran out to my car. My son had complied with his voices in the past and my sister did when I was little. I asked for a crisis trained officer but was told that I will get who is nearest. The 3 officers had no empathy and refused to even go into the house. They said that legally they could not do anything because he had not threatened me to my face. I said that he has in the past many times. In fact I had called them 2 years ago when he had threatened to cut my face up. At that time they just told me to evict him. I begged them to help me because he had threatened to kill me several times if I call the police and he saw us out the window. They told me to get a restraining order the next day.
My youngest son and I spent 6 days in a hotel while I went to court for an emergency restraining order. I spoke with numerous agencies to try and get an involuntary trreatment in place. I was scared of my son, but also scared for my son.
While the plan was in action, I was kept down the street. My youngest son let a behavioral health worker in while 5 officers secretly took positions. The worker tried to talk to my son through his door for about 5 minutes and there was no response. Then the police grabbed him and pulled him out. He made up a lie about talking out loud when he writes and that he was only joking about killing me. Although he has not worked, gone to school, or seen friends in 9 years, they said that he was acting okay and did not qualify for hospitalization. They served him with the restraining order that had a move out order and then escorted him out of the neighborhood in his car.
I have been told by several therapists that it was a very dangerous situation and to change the locks and put in an alarm system. I am very nervous and have had nightmares. I cannot tell you how it feels to be afraid of your own son. I have read that paranoid schizophrenics who kill usually kill the mother and it is often while the mother is trying to get her son into treatment.
My heart is breaking. My son is now homeless, ill, and scared. He will not go to a shelter because he is afraid of people. I do not know where he is. I can't sleep and cry all the time. Crazy as it sounds, I drove around twice trying to find him. I know that I had to keep my 23 year old son safe, but I am going crazy with fear of my other son being hurt or killing himself. He can't come home because of the restraining order. I have been told that if I am lucky he will be arrested or brought in due to strange behavior. I need help...